March 30, 2003
Got a frantic E-mail on Friday: “I am a subscriber of your magazine and I want to hear the song Lorena but I can't find it on your website as it says in the article. Please help!!!”

This is in response to our offer in the new issue (May-June) to go to our website and hear a recorded version of the song Lorena that prompted many Confederate soldiers in the Civil War to desert. Why? The song is sad and melancholy. A Reb general allegedly was so upset with the mass desertions that he sent a hit squad to kill the author of the song. How sad is it? It’s so sad, we can’t even get it to stay up on the website. As a stop gap, we have offered the request (above) the opportunity to call our office tomorrow, toll free (888) 687-1881 and Gus Walker, the Mapinator, will play guitar and sing the song into the phone receiver. This is a limited time offer, because if Gus sings the song live, I’ve got a dozen employees within hearing who just may desert their posts.

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance and Germany doesn't want to go to war.”
—Internet conventional wisdom