June 1, 2004
They say history is written by the winners, but the older I get the more I wonder if history is, in fact, written by the senile. Case in point:

Last week I wrote about the infamous Depends episode on the old Jones & Boze Show. This is Jeanne Sedellos’s memory of the event:

“After reading your take on the ‘Depends Show at KSLX’ I'm surprised at your memory loss. The way I remember it, we did go to McDonalds but you couldn't pee so we went to the Safeway that was on Miller and Camelback at the time. There we bought gallons of water and you proceeded to drink as much as you could. It is in front of the Safeway at approximately 8:45am that the water works came. However, as much as you want to believe that you were discreet enough to just show a bulge in the front and back of your pants, you, my dear, were pantless! You were standing out in front of the Safeway in your hat, t-shirt, boots, and Depends! No pantalones! Listeners were driving by and cheering you on. Burrito Bob came by, remember him? Anyway...that's the way I remember it. You always did have big cajones....even in the Depends. Your motto was anything for the show, and you lived that motto every day. I guess that's why people still remember your adventures and still love you as much today. Howard Stern—Howard Schmern. Did you ever tell your salesman about Bob as a woman, or Black like Bob, or Bob tries to buy Crack? How about the Indian uprising?”
—Jeanner

She’s right. I completely forgot about the Safeway part and the no pants angle.

“History is a cruel trick played on the dead by the senile living.”
—Old Vaquero Saying