Besame Mucho El Chivato!

 July 19, 2022

   Thanks to James B. Mills and his new book "El Bandido Simpatico" we have a better idea what the Wake for Billy the Kid really looked like and we are going to cover it in the next issue of True West. I thought this old painting I did for BtKI, which belongs to Cleis and Jerry Jordan of Lincoln, New Mexico, might make for a good cover image to illustrate this idea.

Daily Whip Out: "Saint Billy" 

   Now, the Nitpickers have pointed out that there was no church in Fort Sumner at the time of the Kid's demise and therefore this painting is bogus. Whatever. We don't plan on using the bottom part anyway. We're going to marry Saint Billy to this fine sculpture.

"The Kid's Wake"

by Buckeye Blake

And we're going to have some fun with A Fitting Funeral for Billy the Kid. Stay tuned.

   Meanwhile. . .

Jeanne & Company

Mohawk Boy With Jeanne Sedello and A Fan

1991

Those Crazy Navajos Are Damn Funny Dudes

   One of the many joys of doing the Jones, Boze & Jeanne Show on KSLX (1986-1994) was discovering Vincent Craig. We discovered this crazy Navajo musician and we had him in the studio several times and we played his most famous song every chance we could (hint: our program director hated the song and was convinced we were losing boxcars full of listeners every time we played it to our rivals Pratt and KDKB). It was probably true, but we didn't care, because it made us so happy. This is not the best version but it does give you a taste for that Navajo slangster humor which all the Zonies loved.

The Candy Bar Song

   Speaking of Zany Navajos, ever sit around and wonder what Vincent van Gogh might have painted if he was Dine? Well, wonder no more:

Daily Whip Out:

"Yatahey Sumner Sendoff"

by Vincent Be Gay

Besame Mucho Mucho?

  So, for grins, I asked my Spanish speaking family members (everyone but me) to come up with zany lyrics to go with this scratchboard:

Daily Scratchboard Whip Out:

"Day of The Dead Crooner"

   Kathy and Tommy came up with these bawdy balad lyrics riffing off of the Mexican classic,"Besame Mucho":

Kiss me because I have died for your love?

Besame que he muerto por tu amor. 

Kiss me because I will never look better?

Besame que nunca me he visto mejor. 

Kiss me, I might be a prince.

Besame que podria ser un principe.

Kiss me you puta, my penis doesn’t even have a bone so nothing to fear.

Besame que mi pene no tiene ni un hueso así que no tienes nada que temer. 

   Now, lest you think my son is a perverse little cabrone, it was actually his mother who wrote the last lyric. I know. I asked for it, didn't I?

"If you do not ask, the answer will always be no."

—Old Vaquero Saying