Bob Boze Bell's Big Bad Book of Bad Diary Entries: The Search for The Real Honkytonk Sue Gets Real

July 16, 2023

Got up early this morning and got out on the road with Uno. Still not too bad out, if I beat the sun.

The early bird gets the, well, you know.

Meanwhile, as the theories and the debate heats up I am even more jazzed.

In Search of The Real Honkytonk Sue

To recap, here are a few HS fan theories about exactly what happened to The Queen of Country Swing since we last saw her more than three decades ago:

"She loves horses more than anything. Has 5 acres in Laveen, right next to South Mountain Park and the Gila River Indian Community. Four husbands, all dead now. Only one was worth the trouble, the last one. He brought her flowers every payday and built her the small ranch house where she still lives. Her career of being an electronics assembler at the factory are over, she now lives off social security and her blue collar pensions from Motorola and Sperry. Rides her mare Wiffle daily, setting out just at sunrise on the trails in South Mountain. Buys her hay from a Pima farmer near Komatke. Her pickup still runs, maintained by her son Billy, a firefighter who lives in Glendale with his nurse wife and Sue's grandchildren. Sue's health ain't the best nowadays but she manages as best she can. Sits on her doorstep and watches the sunset over the Sierra Estrella every evening, with her border collie."

—Ken Thomas

Husband Number 4

"Honkytonk Sue remained childless, but no matter. An award-winning barrel racer when she was younger, she volunteered for a time teaching the sport on her Southeastern Arizona ranch to interested kids who weren't able to fund lessons themselves. Yeah, heart of gold! She also possessed a lyrical ear and ended up being drawn to cowboy poetry, writing lines about her wild days in a freer time, gathering with Baxter Black and the like. But now, travel seems a burden, so Sue stays local. Once in awhile though, when the full moon reveals a youthful twinkle in her eye, she'll head to her favorite waterin' hole for a shot of Patron! It ain't over till it's over."

—Darlene Koch Kline Mitrevics

"I always imagine that she has a small, exclusive boutique selling HS branded cowgirl clothes and bags. One in Tucson and another in Old Town Scottsdale (Arizona’s most midwestern town, I’ve heard) this and her fame, as promoted by a famous publishing magnate keeps her and her adult daughters, three in total, very comfortable. She has a house in Patagonia, close to her ranch and winery In Sonoita. She also runs, with her daughters, a “rodeo queen camp” that travels and trains young women how to compete and win as a Rodeo Queen."

—Randie Lee O'neal

HS Branded Cowgirl Clothes

These are all intriguing to me, but some of my friends believe Honkytonk Sue should not be subjected to the wrinkles, or the sad part of life.

"Honkytonk Sue needs to be remembered by those who loved her then as she was then. The new era of curiosity seekers as to her fate just need to cool it and remember the era, pro and con. Why bring up how she looks now? Few women want to be reminded of how many wrinkles they have, or the sad parts of their lives. Let her memory die in a dignified way. I am sure she does not like this new world and would much prefer going back to the ranch and riding into the sunset. So please no swan song or how much has she aged. Would you want that for yourself?"

—Lynda Sanchez