Negatvie Naybobs In The Land of Disenchantment

 November 13, 2024

   As you might imagine, there are tourists who go to our National Parks and are not all that impressed. A few of them leave negative reviews. Here are my favorites:

Triple B Enjoying Capitan Gap

Yosemite

"Disappointingly pointless and heartbreakingly awful. Shut it down and fire the owners."

—Kevin K.

Grand Canyon

"A hole. A very, very large hole."

—Ken B., Tucson

Grand Tetons

"Could be better. Mountains were blocking the sunset."

—Evan Josiah

Death Valley

"Not a fan of finding nothing in the middle of nowhere. It's like visiting a giant litter box."

—Andy Hobbs

Big Bend

"Too many rocks."

—Angel Bueno

Petrified Forest

"One huge nothingburger."

—Jordan Halvorsen

Bonus Petrified Forest Comment

"Basically it's a knockoff of the Badlands. They should pay you to enter the park."

—Rob Sims

White Sands

"It was too sandy."

—Josie

"Golly, what a gully!"

—Teddy Roosevelt, seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time

Borderline Sword Lessons Cancelled Until Further Notice

 November 12, 2024

   I guess I never really realized just how much of my life revolves around the border region. For one thing my mother was born in the bootheel of New Mexico.

Lordsburg, New Mexico

This was when her parents—my grandparents—lived in the Animas Valley in the twenties, and later at Steins Pass.

Bobbi Guess Bell, age 20

We are awarding the True Westerner Award for 2025 to this worthy cat.

Jay Dusard by Scott Baxter

   And, Jay lives outside Douglas on the Arizona border.

   Sometimes old photos from the border area speak to me.

Sword Class Cancelled

   I'll bet that's the last time he volunteered to give her swinging saber lessons.

Daily Scratchboard Whip Out:

"Old Vaquero In Moonlight"

   What happens when you do a Whip Out without any expectation as to where it might go?

Daily Whip Out: "Colossal Ice Flow"

   Yes, I pulled that one right out of my rectum. I had no idea what it was until I let it dry, turned it sideways and saw the artic up close and personal.

   So, I've got that going for me.

"I went into an antique store and they wouldn't let me leave."

—Andy Huggins, standup comedian, 74

Ancient Conversations With The Patinas Crowd

 November 11, 2024

   Since we live across from the cave that Cave Creek is named for, I often start my day by giving a shoutout across the canyon—"Good morning, Ancient Ones!" I've never received a vocal answer, but my friend Rod Tinamus assures me that if talking to them makes me smile, "they have answered you."

Talking to The Ancient Ones

Uno & The Ancient Ones

   Yes, apparently they kind of bum out my dog, but I have great respect for their legacy and so does the horny toad coming out of the wall, courtesy of Chuck Weaver (yes, Weaver's Stance is named for his dad, I believe).

   Here are just a few of the fine folks who came by Patina's last Saturday.

   This is Craig Schepp holding one of the four paintings he bought. Yes, the model for this is Flint, the guy in the below photo!

Flint Carney, DeAnne Giago, BBB and

DeAnne's old man, Joseph Wolveskill

(Both photos by Rooster Rob Mathiash)

   Meanwhile, my high school Civics Teacher, Tom Dugan, 87, showed up to give me grief about my penchant for talking in class sixty years ago.

   When I complained, at length, The Mucous Bastard sent me to the principal's office—again!

   Speaking of crazy Zane Bros, Wonderful Russ dropped in and proceeded to keep us all in stitches for the entire time he was there, which is to say, until the store closed.

Wonderful Russ and Rooster Rob yucking it up.

   Also in the house was Dan The Man Harshberger who threatened to give Tom Dugan a wedgie just over the principal of the thing. Dan, of course, was in the Mohave County Union High School Civics Class I was in. The only difference between us is he knew how to keep his mouth shut.

BBB, Big D and Rooster Rob

   When Harshberger and Wonderful are in the house all seriousness goes out the window.

   Today, of course, is Veteran's Day so I would be remiss without giving thanks to this great guy.

Allen P. Bell, U.S. Army Air Corp,

 from Thompson, Iowa

   As you might expect, some of the conversation at Patinas, got around to the election and what it means. I think the following quotes have a bearing on where we are headed.

The More Things Change. . .

"I feel like the pandemic was a turning point, and the world is in retreat now, being dragged back into the past. I might even go so far as to suggest that it's becoming more medievalized. Globalism is in flight in a big way, with social media, once so promising, now reaching a dead end. . .perhaps in this era we live in, older stories may reveal a kind of unexpected resonance."

—Haruki Murakami

   And to add to Murakami's point:

"Every decade or so, the world is tested by a crisis so grave that it breaks the mould: one so horrific and inhumane that the response of politicians to it becomes emblematic of their generation—their moral leadership or cowardice, their resolution or incompetence. It is how history judges us."

—Jo Cox, October 13, 2015

Rockin' Patinas!

 November 10, 2024

   I am exhausted. I feel like I worked a floor shift at JC Penny's back in the day. Yes, I was on my feet from ten in the morning yesterday, until closing time. The last time I did that I was childless and broke.

Uno And The Patinas Staff Before The Storm. 

   Kathy Sue took this photo yesterday of Dan Duffy and his staff before the onslaught of art patrons at the On The Border With Boze Art Show. We raised $530 for the Cave Creek Museum just on badge sales alone!

Patinas Security

   Yes, without exception, everyone who came through the gate was super generous. The sign says, "With a donation to the Cave Creek Museum you will receive a badge which is good for 10% off on all BBB artwork." Ten people put a twenty in the jar, many donated $10 or $5 and one generous patron donated two $100 bills. Yes, and I must add this same cat has great taste in art. He bought four paintings!

Craig Schepp, Art Patron Extraordinaire!

   Here is a view of the art space inside Patinas.

The Triple B Alcove

More pics of my favorite patrons in another post.

"You can either buy clothes or buy pictures."

—Gertrude Stein

Blood On The Saddle Stitching & Angst For The Memories

 November 8, 2024

   Man, I have some people to thank! First up, We had a whole lotta stitchin' goin' on yesterday. And, during the assembly line session, one of our stitchers cut her finger and bled on one of the pages. We pulled it off the line and I added a couple balloons with text and signed and dated it for Jeryl Jones, of Orange Tree Press.

Blood On The Saddle Stitching

   And, here are all the Stitchers on the afternoon of their graduation.

L to R: Brent Bond, Craig Schepp, Mark McDowell, Steve and Lynn Judge, Chance Phillips, Jeryl Jones (the one who bled) and Aimee Ollinger

   Meanwhile, over at Patinas they are gearing up for tomorrow's show. And, nobody is more excited than this guy.

Daily Whip Out: "Old Vaquero #69"

   Yes, I am of that generation of boys that never quite got over the forbidden giggle of the number 69. I know, I know, it's so seventh grade, but well, part of me is still back there intellectually. But you knew that.

Daily Whip Out: "El Mechudo"

(The Hairy One)

  Sometimes, but not always, it's about the teeth. I say this with some painful authority because on Monday I have to go in for a root canal. 

Angst for the Memories

   I also had a full physical yesterday and my doctor asked me when was the last time I had a colonoscopy and I quoted a new hero of mine.

"After my colonoscopy the nurse said, 'See you in ten years,' and I said, 'the hell you will!'"

—Andy Huggins, only he didn't use the word hell and neither did I

A Stitch In Time Saves Publication Date for Old Vaquero Sayings Book

 November 7, 2024

   It has been a total labor of love, the first volume of our Old Vaquero Sayings booklet. 

   First up a hand cranked press, then hand collated guts and today the whole kit and kaboodle hand stitched together. And, by hand stitched, I mean actual string poked into the stack of paper and then drawn through the cover and tied in a knot. Now THAT is a hand-u-factored product.

The Hand Stitchers On the Assembly Line at Cattletrack Arts Compound in Scottsdale

  It was tedious and tricky and mind numbingly fun. We hand stitched some 75 books and broke for lunch.

The Stitchers Graduating Class

   While we were stitching, Mark McDowell was putting together the Triple B Old Vaquero Coasters which will be thrown in free for anyone who buys the book.

   The handmade book is $100—with a signed and numbered print run of 100—and the handmade coasters are free with the purchase of the book.      Pretty sweet.

   Here's the first finished book and the first finished set of coasters on the patio tonight.

"Do not hoard treasure. The more you give to others the more you will have to call your own."

—Old Vaquero Saying

Legendary Restoration, Gabby Gets Shabby & Mysterious Rider

 November 6, 2024

My good friend Michael Collier has restored an original Lon Megargee painting that belongs to the legendary Lynda Sanchez of Lincoln, New Mexico. It was very nice, now it's a stunner.

“The Blind Beggar, Cathedral Cuernavaca 1946”. It’s 26 x 30 inches, framed 35 x 39 inches

  The painting originally belonged to historian Eve Ball who received the painting in lieu of a bill Lon Megargee owed her. Eve gifted it to Lynda Sanchez late in life (1970s) and now, thanks to the restoration by Michael Collier, the painting will be sold thru The Collier Gallery .

Any questions, call Michael at (602) 402-1772.

Dad-burnit! Say It Ain't So, Bro!

"I really don't like Westerns. They all feel the same to me. The stories are so few—you've got the stagecoach robbery, the cattle thieves, the bank taking away the farm, the old mine, and the retired gunfighter."

—George Hayes, better known as. . .

Gabby Hayes

Had a productive day at home working on a variety of images. Here's a couple of them just for grins.

Daily Whip Out: "Mysterious Madam"

Daily Whip Out: "Mysterious Rider"

"When in doubt, play insane."

—Catherine O'Hara, American actress

Red Badges of Courage & Day of The Dead Man Voting

 November 5, 2024

   As I said yesterday, quoting Mark Twain, "finding the right word is the difference between lightning and lightning bug." Well, sometimes a single letter can change the meaning of everything. Got this text from my favorite Nogales contrarian:

"I just reread your Dust Devil Dude blog entry. TORMENTO means torment of agony or trouble. TORMENTA is a windstorm or fierce rainstorm or thunderstorm. IMPORTANT."

—Greg Scott

  So, it's Senor Tormenta, not Tormento. Dang dude! One flippin' letter and the whole thing goes south. So much tormento.

Daily Whip Out: "El Tormento"

   Ha.

   Also, it's interesting to me that we just had several Day of The Dead celebrations (traditionally November 1-3) and then we land on the election today. If you want to consider combining the two, the segue might be. . .

Day of The Dead Man Voting

   Yes, today is the dreaded day we have all been praying for, although some of us have been praying for it to be over and done with. A moment of clarity would be welcome. How about this?

Red Badges of Courage

Look what arrived today via UPS. Two hundred of the coolest, stinking badges designed by Dan The Man Harshberger to honor and emulate that classic scene in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

When you come out to Patinas this Saturday for my On The Border With Boze Art show you will receive one of these to get in (with a donation to the Cave Creek Museum). Wear it proudly, please.

Meanwhile, we need hand stitchers down at Cattletrack this Thursday to put the first volume of Old Vaquero Sayings to bed. Wanna join us? No pay, free lunch, priceless conversation! Email me at bozebell@twmag.com

"Is the Civil War starting tonight? Or is it tomorrow? I need to make my plans for the week."

—Wonderful Russ

A New Quantrill? An Old Pendejo

 November 4, 2024

   Got a heads up from one of my Jesse James compadres about a newly discovered, unpublished photo which appears to be almost too good to be true.

Colonel W. C. Quantrill?

It is a cool image and the asking price is $3,000 to start. Here are the first couple paragraphs in the online offering: "A spectacular, likely unpublished armed view of the notorious guerilla leader, boldly signed in ink on verso - 'Col. W C Quantrill/May 1864.' In our opinion the autograph matches Quantrill's known signature. The carte bears the imprint of 'Mansfield's City Gallery, St. Louis, MO.' The mustachioed Quantrill appears outfitted in a conspicuous combination of Plains buffalo skin coat having broad fold over collar and fringed buckskin trousers."

—Live Auctioneers

Later in the day, the same friend had by then done a deep dive on the provenance and had this to add:

"Quantrill was active in western Missouri in May, 1864, and not anywhere close to St. Louis, where the photographer was located. Also, St. Louis was firmly under Union control and had been for a long time. The photographer's studio was located directly across the street from the Planter's House, perhaps the most popular hotel in St. Louis. That's the last place one would find Quantrill. Now, someone who truly believes in the image could claim it's a copy photograph. Maybe. However, I could see some westerner visiting St. Louis and having his portrait taken, as many did, and that dude's fringed attire is definitely western. You know, there are so many purported photographs of Quantrill out there now it's hard to know what to believe. The only one I have any faith in is the one that appeared as the frontispiece in the 1877 first edition of Edwards' Noted Guerrillas."

—Mark Lee Gardner

Like Mark, my friends always have good stories to tell. Here is another one from another friend.

A Ruined Horse

"Years ago, way out at Chaco Canyon before roads and civilization made travel much easier, the park ranger on staff needed to get funding to feed his horse that he used for riding and patrolling.  The Feds, aka The National Park Service, said no funds were available for his animal.  He would have to pay for that.  Well obviously being unfair and typical government stupidity, this Ranger thought and thought how he could get that extra funding which was badly needed and naturally, his salary was not the best. Eventually he submitted a bill to the NPS for Ruins’ Stabilization which was of course understandable in an archaeological area and passed the rules for funds allotted.  Thus, for several years the fellow kept getting funds in that way.  When he retired one of his buddies asked him how he survived.  He told them the story of Ruins Stabilization.   He simply named his horse Ruins."

—Lynda Sanchez 

   And, speaking of Lynda, a good friend of hers. Prof. Brian Obregon Dillon, suggested a couple alternate names for a character I have been developing, which I have been calling El Pendejo. Obregon suggests:

Daily Whip Out: "Senor Tormento."

(Spanish for Mister Windstorm)

   Yes, Mister Tormento came in on a dust devil, solved a big, fat, thorny problem, and left the same way.

   My son, meanwhile, thinks El Pendejo is still the strongest name for the character. He thinks it's zanier. 

"Finding the right word is the difference between lightning and lightning bug."

—Mark Twain

Pepe From Opodepe & The Progress of On The Border With Boze

 November 3, 2024

  Look who I ran into just across the border.

Daily Whip Out: "Pepe From Opodepe"

   Yes, full disclosure, my daughter participated in Hands Across the Border when she was in the sixth grade and a mountain village southeast of Magdalena, Sonora became our Cave Creek school's sister city. Me and a couple other fathers made the trip down and while there I visited a bacanora still up in the mountains and took this panoramic photo from the mountainside looking back down on the host town.

Looking Down On Opodepe, Sonora

   I later found a stash of old photographs from the area, and I am not positive, but this is an Opeodepe local, taken in the 1920s. He, in fact, could be the real Pepe from Opodepe.

Opodepe Guard

   Speaking of the divide between us and the divide between our two countries, I want to do a story about it. Here are a couple cover ideas.

Daily Whip Out: "The Divide"

Daily Whip Out: "The Divide 2"

Daily Whip Out: "The Divide 3" 

Bell De Jour

   She took what she could from her small town past and she left her mark on Mexico.

Daily Whip Out: "Salma 1"

Daily Whip Out: "Salma 2"

   As you may have guessed by now, I have a severe case of border on the brain syndrome. But then I am having an art show, On The Border With Boze next weekend at Patinas. So that's my excuse.

Daily Whip Out: "Old Vaquero #77"

"The end is the just the beginning of something new."

—Old Vaquero Saying

Posada Gets His Due While Average Men Feel Confident

 November 1, 2024

   I believe a certain fellow cartoonist never quite got his due. And I think he deserves a better story. So I have created one for him.

Posada Pondering The Future

   Yes, Jose Guadalupe Posada Aguilar ponders his etching tools while looking out the window of his print shop at the gathering storm in Mexico, circa 1910. He was a very funny cat. Revolutionary, actually.

Posada Day of The Dead Dancers

   Speaking of funny outraging people. . .

Skewering Men Sparks Backlash

   In China, there is a crackdown and major blowback from men with fragile egos. A young smartass woman, Yang Li, says in her standup act: "How can men look so average, and yet be so confident?" It went viral, of course, and the State has reprimanded her, but over here, the men mocking is old hat.

Daily Flashback Whip Out: "Men!"

   And, in case you had forgotten. . .

"Remember girls, unless he's wearing a diaper, you can't change him."

—Honkytonk Sue