When In Saint Jo Here's Where You Got to Go

 May 16, 2023

   It took me over a half century but I finally made it to the Jesse James House to see the bullet hole.

   Me staring at the "bullet hole" under the sign.  

   The mystery of the bullet hole is the shot that killed Jesse did not exit his head, so all of these years we have been looking at what exactly?

   This is what the house looked like on the day Jesse James died.

The gathering crowd on April 3, 1882

  The problem with the two images of the house is that the original house, directly above, faced north and was higher on the hill. It was later moved out on to the Belt Highway next to a gas station for tourists to see, then, after a good amount of time there, it came back to this location, facing west (which is a block, or two, from the original site). If you love Jesse James, it's close enough.

   Meanwhile, in the same neighborhood you will find this,

Pony Express mural on the side of a building. 

   And another one in the downtown area.

A Union Soldier Looks at Lincoln Mural

   And, another one just down the street.

A Covered Wagon Train Mural

In Downtown Saint Jo

We stayed at the Whiskey Mansion not far away.

Photo by Mark Lee Gardner

   Mark Lee Gardner was a wonderful guide and I saw everything I wanted to see related to Jesse James and then some. I am confident it is going to inform my next book in a wonderful way.

"I had hope, however; I had been wounded seven times during the war, and once before in this same lung; and I did not believe I was going to die."

—Jesse James

The Mark Lee Gardner Missouri Jesse James Related Grave & Battle Tour

 May 15, 2023

   It's day four of the Mark Lee Gardner Missouri (he pronounces it Missour-ah) Jesse James Related Grave & Battle Tour. A few highlights.

A Typical Small Town Missouri Home

  The houses in the small towns and in the countryside have been nothing short of amazing to see. I would have come here just to see them. I thought the farm houses and homes in Iowa and Minnesota had Victorian grandeur but Missouri really takes the cake.

Jesse James Empty Grave at the James Farm

   Yes, they moved Jesse's body into Kearny a while back but the gravestone remains at the farm. Yes, this is the famous grave that Frank James sold pebbles off of when he lived on the place.

BBB at Rocky Cut, Missouri

   Up ahead of me, at the curve, is the famous cut near Otterville, where the James Younger Gang robbed the Missouri Pacific Railroad on July 17, 1876. The boys got away with $15,000 and used the proceeds to fund their ill-fated jaunt to Northfield, Minnesota.

   The legendary Santa Fe Trail began at Franklin, Missouri and the highway follows the famous path along the Missouri River. In some small towns you can still see the wagon ruts, like here running right through the local cemetery.

Wagon Tracks at Grand Pass, Missouri

   Mark has been studying and visiting all these out of the way cemeteries and here we are at the James Gang's Number One PR agent's grave near Dover, Missouri.

   In Richmond we found the two meager and unkept grave markers for the Ford Brothers.

The Lonely Spot of the Ford Brothers Graves

   Some have visited and left pennies on their meager headstones. Bob even got a dime. Rather ironic considering the song.

"And the dirty little coward who shot Mr. Howard and laid poor Jesse in his grave."

—Missouri Folk Song

Tracking Jesse James With A Master Tracker

 May 14, 2023

   Hot on the trail of Jesse James. My guide is the noted author and musician Mark Lee Gardner. If you travel with him, you are going to see a lot of graveyards and historic battle sites. 

Mark and me at the Centralia Battlefield site

   This was the Civil War battle about three miles south of Centralia, Missouri, where 125 green federal troops tried to attack William "Bloody" Bill Anderson's Bushwhacker troops across this ground near a river bottom. The rebels, including Frank and Jesse James, came out of the trees on horseback 400 strong and annihilated the Union force in about three minutes. Most historians believe Frank James' account that Jesse killed the Union commander, Major A.V.E. Johnston. This is invaluable to me as an illustrator to walk the ground, see the actual landscape, hear the birds and feel the humidity. It will hopefully inform my paintings for the book.

Mark Lee Gardner at the Missouri State Capitol

   Earlier in the day, we visited the state capital in Jeff City (what the locals call Jefferson City). Mark wanted to show me the wonderful paintings in the rotunda and I wasn't disappointed. 

The Battle of Sacramento

   So many of my painting heroes are represented including N.C. Wyeth and several of the Taos 7, including Victor Higgins!

   Of course, Mark knows all the good BBQ joints and we had lunch at a good one.

   One of the paintings in the rotunda is this one of Washington Irving Meeting Kit Carson at Arrow Rock.

   For starters, Washington Irving never met Kit Carson (although he was asked to do Carson's bio) and they were never in Arrow Rock, but thanks to Mark, we ate dinner last night at the building in the background. So that was some sweet serendipity.

"When in Missouri do as the Missourians do."

—Old Razz Saying

The Whole Kit And Kaboodle?

 May 11, 2023

   Well, here we go again. We're trying to nail down a Kit Carson cover and after ten swings and misses, I took one more pass on the Carson portrait.

Daily Whip Out: "Carson Subdued"

    I actually prefer the image, below, but Hutton didn't like the hat I gave Carson. Looks like a "sombrero," Paul snorted.

Daily Whip Out: "Carson's Big, Bad Hat"

   And then, Dan The Man weighed in with, "He looks like a rodeo cowboy to me. One that worked for Buffalo Bill." Well, yes, there is THAT.

   But then I went uptown for a massage, and when I got back I saw this in my inbox:

The Whole Kit And Kaboodle

   The headline is still not right, but this is dang close to being the Kit's Pajamas, yes?

   We may record a video of all the covers we have noodled—so far!—so you can get a taste of the torture we put ourselves through.

"His cruelty is his legacy. Not surprising from a godless Freemason."

—Not A Kit Carson Fan

Kit Carson's Conquest of California, Part II

 May 10, 2023

   We are getting closer on Kit Carson. Or, are we? Here are a couple cover takes to consider:

Daily Whip Out: "Kit Carson's Bloody Hand"

Daily Whip Out: "Kit Carson's Hat"

Daily Whip Out: "Kit Carson's Last Stand"

"I’m interested in Hutton’s take on Kit Carson. I’d point out in the country of Mexico one is unable to find a single statue of Hernan Cortez. He is reviled universally. New Mexico conquistadors likewise have seen any statuary vandalized. For whatever good our boy Kit may have done, he’ll be remembered for the Long Walk. Just following orders is pretty weak tea. We’ll see what Hutton has to say."

—Greg Scott

"How bad does a guess have to be in order to be uneducated?"

—Demetri Martin

How I Learned to Suffer Fools Gladly

 May 9, 2023

   About fifteen years ago I had the good misfortune to be humiliated by a very famous Hollywood actress. We were both backstage at Westworld in Scottsdale and I saw her standing alone, and thought I would at least say hi and introduce myself.

   It did not go well. My well-intentioned greeting and rejoinder was met with a stony silence and a look that told me loud and clear I was not welcome in her space and if I knew what was good for me, I would leave her general presence post haste. And, so I did, and I must admit, my head felt like it had shrunk to the size of a small pea and I was sure it was throbbing like a distressed tulip. Like most humans, I chalked it up to her being as an egotistical bitch and I did not clap when we were both on stage and she was introduced to the adoring crowd. In fact, for years afterward when she appeared on our TV screen, I would flip her off. But then, something happened that changed my mind completely.

The History of Suffering Fools Gladly

   "The phrase originally came from William Tyndale’s 1534 translation of the Bible. In it, Paul was ripping into the decadent citizens of Corinth for turning away from his own authoritative teaching and falling for a bunch of second-rate false apostles. 'For ye suffers fool gladly,' Paul says with withering sarcasm, “seeing ye yourselves are wise.'

   "Today, the phrase is often used as an ambiguous compliment. It suggests that a person is so smart he has trouble tolerating people who are far below his own high standards. It is used to describe a person who is so passionately committed to a vital cause that he doesn’t have time for social niceties toward those idiots who stand in its way. It is used to suggest a level of social courage; a person who has the guts to tell idiots what he really thinks.

   "This sounds fine in the abstract, but when you actually witness somebody in the act of not suffering fools gladly, it looks rotten. . .

   "G. K. Chesterton had the best advice on suffering fools gladly. He put emphasis on the gladly. When you’re with fools, laugh with them and at them simultaneously: “An obvious instance is that of ordinary and happy marriage. A man and a woman cannot live together without having against each other a kind of everlasting joke. Each has discovered that the other is a fool, but a great fool. This largeness, this grossness and gorgeousness of folly is the thing which we all find about those with whom we are in intimate contact; and it is the one enduring basis of affection, and even of respect.” 

—David Brooks in The New York Times  

   I think it's safe to say, we all have snubbed people who we thought were fools, or, dare I say—beneath us—but after I got that cold snub from Shirley Jones at Westworld, I vowed to never do that to another human being, ever. So that was a very good lesson for me.

Thankyou, Shirley Jones!

   Today, I am totally fine with suffering fools gladly. My only wish is that some of their stories were a tad shorter.

"In my experience, Midwesterners are more likely to treat fools well."

—David Brooks

Kit Carson And The Conquest of Califorenia

 May 8, 2023

   Still noodling Kit Carson images for a cover story Paul Andrew Hutton is doing for us in the next issue.

   Carson in this thirties and then in the Civil War

Daily Whip Out:

"Carson In The Black Hat"

Daily Whip Out: "Carson On Horseback"

Daily Whip Out: "Carson In A Gray Hat"

Daily Whip Out:

"Kit Carson In Buckskin Rough Sketch"

   Getting closer. Need a big, fat Plainsman hat. Tomorrow.

"When people say, 'enjoy them while they're young,' they're talking about your knees."

—Old Vaquero Saying

Three Kit Carsons And Driving While Angry

 May 7, 2023

Things that once seemed so solid—in black and white—are now portrayed as being the exact opposite of what they once were. Here's a good example.

Daily Whip Out:

"Kit Carson In Shades of Gray" 

   One statue down, another boarded up and his grave defaced. Comeuppance? Revisionist BS? Shameful? Or, is it just the duplicity of everything?  

Kit Carson Didn't Change,

But The Times Sure Did

   If you live long enough, you realize, with enough time, the wrong side of history is where you are sitting right now.

Daily Whip Out: "Kit Carson In A Gray Hat"

One Angry Nation

   It just isn't the mall shootings and the unruly airline passengers, has anyone else noticed today's flippin' crazy drivers. At Jerry Foster's memorial service yesterday, a Creeker told me he was driving down by Desert Ridge and a woman ran into the back of his car, backed up and rammed him again. His son has been in two accidents. They are both recovering.

   On my way back from the airport last Wednesday, I was at a light at 24th St. and Washington waiting for the light to turn green, when I spotted a car in my rearview, two cars back, pulling out of our lane, coming forward in the oncoming lane, and then, without even stopping, driving past us and across the intersection with some significant speed. I had never witnessed that before. When I mentioned this to Ed Mell, he laughed and said he sees this almost every day in Phoenix when he drives. People who can't be bothered by these pesky red lights. At first I thought it might just be a Phoenix phenom, but when I mentioned this to my daughter in Seattle and she said it happened to her recently at a light when a car came around a truck in the opposite side of the intersection, in the turn lane, going around a truck in front of him, into her turn lane, missing her by a couple feet, just so the asshole could pass a truck he thought was going too slow, IN THE TURN LANE! What the hell is happening to us?

"The opposite of anger is not calmness, it's empathy."

—Menmet Oz

Retrofuturism Is Looking Back to See How Yesterday Viewed Tomorrow

 May 6, 2023

   I think it's safe to say, we at the Razz Revue worshipped Bruce McCall. Our favorite Zane Master Illustrator passed on May 5. Bruce was the creator of "The Bulgemobile Airdremes" which he did as a series of fake ads for the National Lampoon in the 1970s. We loved him. He was 87.

   And, this is one of my favorites. . .

   I love it that people gathered at an open grave are waving at the new '58 Fireblast!

   Now you  know where this came from:

   Yes, Dan The Man really loved Bruce McCall and his crazy aesthetic. 

   That is Black Bridge in the background and this is Route 66 south of Kingman, Arizona, circa late forties, early fifties? Logasville was the home of Billy Logas, King of the Kingman Quartermile. If you are from Mohave County you already knew that.

Pump House Late Light

Someone asked me where Uno was when I took this photo and the answer is, Mr. Lazy Boy couldn't be bothered to get up from his doggy hammock.

Just got back from a memorial service for Jerry Foster at Frontier Town in Cave Creek. He passed on March 31st. The legendary TV helicopter newsman was remembered fondly by many of his friends, including his producer Susan Sorg, seen here speaking in the big tent. Thanks to Edmundo Segundo for inviting me. For a short time Jerry was my neighbor and he flew me into Phoenix for a speech, and back. Crazy, heady days those were. One of his former comrades remembered him as Sky-komaynee, a parody of an Iranian hoodoo master. Ha.

Susan Sorg remembers Jerry Foster fondly

     Working on a cover idea.

Daily Whip Out: "Kit Carson Sketch #3"

"My work is so personal and so strange that I have to invent my own lexicon for it."

—Bruce McCall, calling his inventions "retrofuturism," which he defined as "looking back to see how yesterday viewed tomorrow."

Two Bachelors Home Alone & Carrie Fisher Rocked

May 5, 2023

   Went for a walk last night and witnessed this little gem of a scene.

Moon Over Ratcliff Ridge

When The Future Looked Pretty Goofy

   Supposedly, back in 1954, Studebaker spent some 4,000 design hours making what they thought would be a groovy car of the future. This is what they came up with.

A Triple-Tailed Goofusmobile 

   Proof that the Detroit game of let's-hide-the -gas-cap started early, because the designers of this concept Studebaker hid the gas cap behind the middle tail-light. I just read online that Cadillac started the gas cap hiding way back in 1941. That's crazy. 

T-Bird Gas Cap Behind The License Plate

   Eventually all the other's caught up with Ford doing the old behind-the-license-plate hide and, by the way, this was the pits because if you put the nozzle on auto-fill the overflow would not turn off in time and gas would spill on the driveway. My dad almost got knifed over this and it led to one of my favorite confrontions with a jackass from Vegas.

Leaning On The Loosy Goosy

   When I was in the Fine Arts program at the University of Arizona several years ago (1965!), we were taught to do fifteen minutes of gesture drawings at the beginning of class, to get loose. You know, like this.

Daily Whip Outs: "The Loosy Goosy"

   More often than not, all roads lead back to this guy.

Daily Whip Out: "The Man In Gray"

What Does "Bach'" Refer To?

   "You informed us, on May 3rd, in this blog that you and your faithful pup Uno were bachin’ it as la belle Mrs. Bell was in Japan visiting family. The term Bach is short for bachelor. Bachin’ means living the (presumably) solo bachelor life. Unlike Bob whose bachelor life is temporary, Badger Clark was a life long bachelor. Clark lived in Arizona Territory between 1906 and 1910 recovering from tuberculosis. During that time he lived mostly alone on a ranch 15 miles outside of Tombstone. He was essentially a caretaker with a bit of cowboying thrown in. He used his abundant free time writing poetry which was published by PACIFIC MONTHLY magazine. Today we must remember that many of these poems have been put to music and are better known as cowboy songs. Among his poems from this period was Bachin’, a five verse humorous take on his bachelor life (and that of some of his unmarried cowboy neighbors) out on the open range. Bach and Bachin’ are short for bachelor life. One can find the Badger poem and many others in his collection of his cowboy life poetry, SUN AND SADDLE LEATHER first published in 1916."

—Greg Scott, Nogales

Two Bachelors Home Alone

True, Carrie Fisher Was Princess Lea, But She Was Also Hilarious

   "What point is there in eulogizing her, when she said it best herself? She was the Yoda of self-deprecating wisdom, except she could keep all her words in order. 'I’m very sane about how crazy I am.' 'Instant gratification takes too long.' 'You know how they say that religion is the opiate of the masses? Well, I took masses of opiates religiously.' 'Even in space, there’s a double standard for women.' 'As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don’t.' 'Youth and beauty are not accomplishments.' 'No matter how I go, I want it reported that I drowned in moonlight, strangled by my own bra.'

—Quotes by Carrie Fisher in a New Yorker piece by Michael Schulman

The Regulators Ride & "Hello, Bob" Newspaper Account Is Found

May 4, 2023

   A couple more BtK designs from Dan The Man.

  And, just for grins, here's a Billy the Kid bookmark.

 And, relax, the coffee mug is on the way. 

   "Hello, Bob." That is the ironic greeting Billy the Kid allegedly said to Robert Olinger before the outlaw pulled both triggers on Olinger's own shotgun, sending Pecos Bob straight to hell. I was curious as to how early this salutation shows up in the record, and thanks to James B. Mills, here is the first known account from the May 10, 1881 Las Vegas Gazette, newspaper account:

   By the way, the above newspaper account is not correct on the killing of J.W. Bell. In fact, Bell's pistol was still in his holster when he fell dead in Godrey Gauss's arms. So, what does this do to the veracity of the "Hello, Bob" quote?

   My Texas kin have a saying: if you can't improve on a story, you have no business retelling it in the first place. And this is an excellent example of how history is idealized and formed through made up quotes, half-truths, exaggerations, gossip and hearsay, and then that messy stew is cooked into a juicy legend and baked into folklore. And where one begins and the other ends is a serious knot of contradicting BS. Hey, welcome to my world.

Our lives are hid; our trails are strange;
We’re scattered through the west
In canyon cool, on blistered range
Or windy mountain crest.
Wherever Nature drops he eats
And bares her claws to scratch,
From Yuma to the north frontiers,
You’ll likely find the Bach’,
You will,
The shy and sober bach’!

—Badger Clark