Straight Up Ranch Women: No Bling, No BS

 July 15, 2023

    Here's a question I have been wrestling with all week.

Honkytonk Sue Today?

   I have been contemplating doing my version of the end of an era with Honkytonk Sue in her swan song. How much has she aged? What has she learned and what has she accomplished in her life? Well, it's been almost 40 years, so she might look something like this:

Honkytonk Sue at 73?

   Here's what one of her biggest fans envisions for her:

   "I always imagine that she has a small, exclusive boutique selling HS branded cowgirl clothes and bags. One in Tucson and another in Old Town Scottsdale (Arizona’s most midwestern town, I’ve heard) this and her fame, as promoted by a famous publishing magnate keeps her and her adult daughters, three in total, very comfortable. She has a house in Patagonia, close to her ranch and winery In Sonoita. She also runs, with her daughters, a “rodeo queen camp” that travels and trains young women how to compete and win as a Rodeo Queen.

—Randie Lee O'neal

   That is pretty darn believable, at least for one end of the dream. Here's another, perhaps, more realistic version:

   She was tough but it wasn't enough. She lost at love and some very bad things came her way, but she survived the recent cultural tsunami, barely, and she ended up where she wanted to be, which is alone on the land she fought for. She paid for her freedom and, the way she sees it, she is perfectly able and willing to take care of herself to the very end, which is not all that far off. In spite of it all, she feels blessed and she asks for no other blessing.

    She has one more hurdle and it is a doozy.

Last Fandango at The Heatwave Cafe

   The encroaching condos and the strip malls have put a stranglehold on the last outpost of the honkytonk era, and, so, before Chata shutters the windows and closes the doors for the last time, she has put out the word for one final fandango.

  Everyone wants to know if Sue will show, but her nearest neighbor, Buster Brandahan, is doubtful, reminding all the old timers that Sue has long ago given up drinking and she has sworn off men and she even gave up on Country Swing. In her mind, all three had let her down.

Chata: The Queen of the Heatwave Cafe

   So, where does this all leave us at the last fandango? I think you know the answer to that question better than I do.

Somewhere Between A Holy Mole Feast

And An Emotional Donnybrook

   Yes, if there's one thing we do know it's that the Mexican food will be great but the personal encounters and outcomes, not so much.

   As for the music and the dancing, here is a fellow honkytonk musician who grew up in Tucson and sat next to Linda Ronstadt in Spanish class, commenting on the ranch women he encountered in his honkytonk tours. 

"They're of a type sorely missed. Straight up ranch women, no bling, no bullshit."

—Greg Scott

   And, one more postscript on Greg and Catalina High School in Tucson. Greg told me he was in his Latin American History class with Linda on Friday, November 22, 1963, when the news came that JFK had been shot. Also, today is Linda's birthday. She is 77.

Happy Birthday, Lovely Linda!

   And, speaking of total authenticity, I tend to agree with Hermann on what happened to Sue.

"My story isn't pleasant, it's not sweet and harmonious like the invented stories; it tastes of folly and bewilderment, of madness and dream, like the life of all people who no longer want to lie to themselves."

—Hermann Hesse

Young Guns, The Eagles' Desperado & Crazy Hearts

 July 14, 2023

It was on this date, July 14, 1881 that Billy the Kid was shot down like a dog. Speaking of which, Uno appears to appreciate my newly framed poster of "Young Guns," a gift from Jerry and Cleis Jordan of Casa de Patron fame. 

Dog Gone It People Like Me!

Desperado Is Not The Hit I Remember

  When we love something we have a hard time believing everyone else doesn't share the love, or, at least agree with us. Thus, the Eagles' album "Desperado," which, when it came out in 1973, hit me right between the eyes. I thought it was genius and very hip at the time (I was living in Tucson and the Dusty Chaps and the Stumble Inn were all the go) and I played that album until the cows came home. And then some. I absolutely loved "Tequila Sunrise."

Tequila Sunrise Cave Creek Style

   Turns out the album was not the universal hit I thought it was. It only produced two singles, "Tequila Sunrise" which peaked at #64 on the Top 100 Hits, and "Outlaw Man" which made it to #59.

   In a new book, "Life In The Fast Lane" the author Mick Wall points out that my favorite outlaw album by my favorite outlaw band was actually a bummer for the record company (below expected sales), or, as one company exec puts it, derisively, "they went and made that damn cowboy album." A friend of the Eagles, Linda Ronstadt (also from Tucson) made a hit of the title song, but the record company never released the Eagles version as a single. They didn't think it was worthy. Crazy!

   Here's how Don Henley put it. He said the album was their "big artistic commentary on the evils of fame and success, with a cowboy metaphor. The metaphor was probably a little bullshit. We were in LA, staying up all night, smoking dope, living the California life, and I suppose we thought it was as radical as cowboys in the old West. We were rebelling against the music business, not society."

   At the same time the Eagles were creating the Desperado album I was creating a cartoon version of a certain cowgirl who frequented the honkytonks I was playing in all over the Old Pueblo. Another writer, Thomas Cobb, who grew up in Tucson wrote about his similar experiences which became the novel "Crazy Heart" which was adapted into the 2010 Academy Award winning 2009 film of the same name.

   So, all of that cowboy-crazy Tucson vibe came home to roost this past week when I revisited my character Honkytonk Sue for a summer-fun recap, which will run in the Tombstone Epitaph and Real Country, a free Country Music, newspaper out of Wickenburg.

   Here is another sneak peek at it.

   And here is a requiem for one of Honkytonk Sue's biggest fans.

Remembering Sandra Lovejoy

"Thank you for giving us at last a female counterpart to the Marlboro Man, Dirty Harry, and all the other machismo myths that roam the earth unchallenged."

—Sandy Lovejoy, 1978

How Do You Get A Silver Lab?

 July 12, 2023

   I was out on the road this morning (83 degrees at 5:30) when I met two women hikers up on Morningstar and one of them wanted to know how exactly do you get a silver lab?

Uno Is The One

   If a Chocolate Lab has two recessive genes, this dilutes the normally solid color into a lighter version. This produces a Silver Lab. This color is caused by the appearance of two recessive genes rather than the usual dominant-dominant or dominant-recessive combinations. The recessive gene is called the ‘dilution gene’ because it dilutes the coat color of the dog. For example, Chocolate Labs are usually a pure brown color. If a Chocolate Lab has two recessive genes, this dilutes the normally solid color into a lighter version. This produces a Silver Lab. Diluted Black Labs are called Charcoal Labradors and Yellow Labs are called Champagne Labradors.

Lab Coats

   Labrador coats are straight, dense and hardy. They have double coats which are great for keeping them warm in all weathers. They are also great in the water as the double coat helps to insulate them.

Uno Takes to Water

   Meanwhile, a little south of here. . .

Daily Whip Out: "Porbrecito"

      And, a little bit east of here. . .

Daily Whip Out: "One Tough Broad"

And, then a little bit north of here. . .

Daily Whip Out: "Moon of The Mojaves"

"There's simply no polite way to tell people they've dedicated their lives to an illusion."

—Daniel Dennett

What Exactly Is A Crossfire Hurricane?

 July 11, 2023

    I have been singing the lyrics to "Jumpin' Jack Flash" by the Rolling Stones for fifty years and never knew the answer to this question: what is a crossfire hurricane?

Mister Crossfire Hurricane

   Until today.

   "Jumpin' Jack Flash" by the Rolling Stones was number one on the British Billboard pop chart 50 years ago today. According to a biography of Keith Richards, the first line of the song, "I was born in a crossfire hurricane," is a reference to the fact that Richards was born near London during World War II in the midst of a German air raid.

   Well, what did we expect? If you ask me, he acts just like he was born during an air raid.

“People wanted a loser who became a winner. Or a winner who became a loser. But a loser who stayed a loser? That was too much like themselves. They weren’t interested in themselves.”

—Charles Bukowski, “More Notes of a Dirty Old Man”

A Sneak Peek at A Sue Retrospective

A precursor to

"Last Fandango at The Heatwave Cafe"

"I've been called a high steppin' filly and a low down dirty whore, but I finally made up my mind that at the end of this ride I'll be camping alone."

—Honkytonk Sue

   And, what exactly possessed me to write that? A certain "Fleabag."

"You have to write something that is more dangerous, more honest, more provocative."

—Phoebe Waller-Bridge

Jesse In Pain From Two Serious Wounds In The Same Lung

 July 10, 2023

   Here's another take on Jesse in deep shadow.

Daily Whip Out: "Jesse In Pain"

   I wanted to portray him a little more conflicted, a little more paranoid and in some severe pain. And, frankly, if you were carrying around two bullet wounds in the same lung, you would be a little pained yourself.

Two Bullets for One Lung

   In July or August of 1864, the James brothers were riding with Bloody Bill Anderson and the Bushwhackers across Ray County, Missouri when Jesse saw a saddle on a fence in front of a house and stopped to purloin it. Unfortunately, the owner of the saddle—a German immigrant named George Heisinger—was watching from his house as the ragtag troops rode by and as Jesse dismounted and reached for the saddle, he heard a loud pop and a pain in his chest. Heisinger had let loose with his big bore rifle and caught Jesse in the right lung. Chest wounds are normally fatal, but Jesse managed to remount and rode several miles with his brother Frank holding him in the saddle. The rebels commandeered a wagon and drove Jesse to the home of a sympathetic doctor who determined a large-caliber bullet had struck Jesse outside the right nipple and passed clear through his chest (through and through). Jesse spent many months in rehab, before returning to the fight.

   Then in mid-May of 1865, Jesse and a handful of guerrillas were riding towards Lexington, Missouri to surrender when they were fired on by Union troops (reportedly the 3rd Wisconsin Cavalry). Jesse later said, "My horse was killed and I was shot through the breast. I was running through the woods pursued by two men on horseback. . .I was near a creek. I lay in the water all night, it seemed that my body was on fire. The next morning I crawled up the bank and a man was plowing nearby and he helped me get to my friends." He was however, captured and it took a month before he could be moved. This bullet was lodged in his right lung, mere inches from the first wound, and couldn't be removed. He survived, barely, carrying the bullet for the rest of his life. This bullet was recovered during the 1995 exhumation of Jesse James and it was discovered that the bullet was a .36 caliber ball, fired from an 1851 Colt Navy revolver.

Another Bullet Another Fight

   Later, in 1876, Jesse was shot in the leg at the botched Northfield bank raid and that bullet was recovered as well from a 1978 archeological dig of his original grave at the James-Samuel homestead. That bullet was determined to be from a .38 Smith & Wesson. His son later claimed Jesse sometimes used a cane. This new info is from Chuck Rabas. Thank you! As incredible as this is, one of Jesse's partners in crime carried 11 bullets in his body and outlived all of his outlaw compadres. That story will be covered in the book.

   Here's another dude who loves hats as much as I do.

Boy Howdy, Boy George

"How many hats do I have? Probably a few hundred. You're either a hat person or you're not."

—Boy George

Triple B Trailers Not for The Humor Impaired

 July 9, 2023

   Lots to be thankful for on this hot summer day. 

   Uno and me on the road again early this morning. Still nice out until around 6:30. Nice color and coolness in the sunrise transition.

Triple B Trailers

   Be advised: Not for the Humor Impaired.

Last Fandango at The Heatwave Cafe

   It's the end of an era and she has been gone for 35 years. Will she return for the final night? And, more importantly, what could possibly go wrong?

"A bunch gets blamed on good whiskey and bad women, but let's not forget low IQs."

—Honkytonk Sue

Did Jesse James Meet Billy the Kid? Confabulating The Past to Sell A Book, or Two

 July 8, 2023

   It pays to get up early this time of year.

Old Stage Road Speedbump

   Uno sailed right over it this morning. Love the early light up on Elephant Butte. 5:45, still cool out low seventies. 

  Still seeking out the real Jesse James.

Daily Whip Out:

"Jesse James In Hell"

   He might have thought he was just passing through but he never left.

Most People Don't Care How The Past Is Remembered Or Even How It Got That Way

   Of course, I care. That doesn't mean I have any new spin on it, or a lock on the truth, other than to say most of what we believe is serious confabulation. And by "comfabulation" I mean when people—or entire countries—fill gaps in their past with fabricated, misinterpreted, or distorted information. They aren't lying they are merely confusing things they have imagined with real memories.

   Full disclosure: I got this term from Marta Boessenecker—John's wife—who suggested the term when I queried her husband about the penchant for so much of history to be retro-embellished. For example, a guy claimed Jesse James met Billy the Kid at a health spa north of Las Vegas, New Mexico. Henry F. Hoyt, wrote this in his book "A Frontier Doctor" (1929) almost fifty years after the alleged event. Of course by 1929 Billy the Kid was a big deal thanks to Walter Noble Burns' best selling book "The Saga of Billy the Kid" (1924) which resurrected the Kid and put him on the map. And, so, to put him together with Jesse James is pretty sexy in retrospect, but back in 1880 it was a long shot, to say the least. So, it seems to me you could make a strong case Hoyt is backdating—or confabulating—history to enhance the sales of a book. Wow! Like that would ever happen in our time, he said facetiously.

    Anyway, this needs a working term and Marta recommended "confabulate."

   One of my favorite quotes, "History is a fable agreed upon," has long been attributed to Napoleon. Turns out, his quote is slightly different and there's some evidence he didn't even say it! So the quote itself is a fable agreed upon. Damn! That is some crazy, conundrum style confabulation. 

  And, that my friends is what history is: a convoluted attempt to make sense of the past with a whole lot of confabulation thrown in for good measure.

   God help us all.

"A word after a word after a word is power."

—Margaret Atwood

The Wit & Sarcastic Wisdom of Honkytonk Sue

 July 7, 2023

   Been revisiting an old flame. In 1977 I was between wives and at the end of my tether in The Old Pueblo. In desperation I sent off a packet of cartoon ideas to Matty Simmons at the National Lampoon.

   Long story short, Matty and the editors at the Lampoon chose this one:

"Most cowboys I know are shockingly cruel, hasty in temper and unbridled in tongue. The rest are not my type."

—Honkytonk Sue

Billy The Kid Scores A Netflix Special

 July 6, 2023

   Got some new art prints in the works. This one is from my Billy the Kid book.

Daily Whip Out:

"Billy Holds Court On His Jailhouse Ride"

The Backstory

   In December of 1880, Sheriff elect Pat Garrett and his motley crew rounded up Billy the Kid and his gang at Stinking Springs in a raging snowstorm. They took off for Las Vegas, New Mexico, via Fort Sumner (where the Kid was put in chains and lashed to Dirty Dave Rudabaugh, and the Kid kissed Paulita goodbye), then, after a Christmas dinner at Padre Polaco's in Puerto de Luna they headed for Vegas in the deep snow. The Kid supposedly stood in the back of the wagon and entertained the heavily-armed entourage with stories and jokes.

   In my opinion he definitely would have scored a Netflix special today for his efforts. All his captors agreed, he was a very funny fellow.

   The good news is, that the way things are going with AI, soon enough this will probably be an actual Netflix special: "Live From Anton Chico Billy the Kid Holds Court On His Hilarious Jailhouse Ride!"

"Advise persons never to engage in killing."

—Billy the Kid's sage and hilarious advice

May The Fourth Be With You

 July 5, 2023

   Had a nice quiet Fourth yesterday. Did some artwork. Took a nap. My kind of holiday. Did get some reports from friends around the West and beyond. 

   Received this great shot from Lynda Sanchez in Lincoln, New Mexico. This is a Matt Midgett photograph of the Fourth of July Celebration at the torreon yesterday. Love that place.

   And then, from across the pond, got this rockin' greeting.

BFG rockin' Albi, France

on the Fourth of July

   As I told Billy F. Gibbons in the reply, I dig that hat, but my daughter Deena was lookin' lower: "Those shoes!! Those are some cool kicks Billy!"

An AI Update Alarm

   Okay, this is absolutely amazing and troubling at the same time. Here is a "photograph" of Leonardo da Vinci and his famous model Mona Lisa, taken in 1504.

Da Vinci & His Famous Model

   Now, granted, it's not perfect. She seems a tad illustrated, BUT it definitely looks like an old, authentic photo, even though photography wasn't invented until the 1820s. At some point in the future, this gap will probably be forgotten and this image may just pass as an authentic photo. Who will be around to tell them it's not real?

    Meanwhile, I've got a new art print in the works. 

BBB Art Print:

"Billy Enjoys The Limelight"

   From my Billy the Kid book, page 100. If you want one, let me know.

"Is it real? Or is it Memorex?

—Some old ad slogan repurposed for a new generation

Firestorm Sans Rider Plus A Police Composite Sketch of Jesse James

 July 4, 2023

   Craig Schepp came out yesterday to pick up some of the artwork he has purchased in the last 90 days. Long story short, his truck wasn't big enough to haul off his score. So now he's off to buy a bigger truck.

   I kid you not.

   Noodling a hellish landscape (a firescape?) for the background of a Bushwhacker scene I am doing. Got this firecracker version going this morning, fittingly on the Fourth of July!

Daily Whip Out:

"Firestorm Sans Bushwhacker"

I'll add a rider, or two in the morning.

Collage In Red & Blue

Split Decsion

   I have this idea of doing a split image of Jesse James, where one side doesn't match the other. One is a killer, one is a saint, one is a kidder, the other one ain't. The above collage is an inspiration. Perhaps a tad too formal, but I like the splits, the angles and the opticals.

   Another angle would be to piece together disparate descriptions of the outlaw that add up to some sort of intriguing conundrum. Like a police sketch artist taking eye witness accounts to some sort of ridiculous conclusion. And, you know how much I love ridiculous conclusions.

Daily Whip Outs:

"A Police Sketch Artist Composite

Based On Eye Witness Accounts"

"The ghost of Belle Starr, she hands down her wits

To Jezebel the nun, she violently knits

A bald wig for Jack the Ripper, who sits

At the head of the chamber of commerce."

—Bob Dylan, Tombstone Blues

Fast X vs. Asteroid City: Let Them Eat Too Much Cake

July 3, 2023

   We finally went to a movie last weekend! In a theater! Our first in about a year. We saw this visual delight.

Asteroid City

   I must say, the 1955 Arizona aesthetic was dead on and I thoroughly enjoyed the look. I mean it took me back to old Route 66 and Kingman, Seligman, Ashfork, Williams and, in fact, Meteor City.

Welcome to Asteroid City sign

I know I've seen that sign before on old Route 66 with the ore wagon. Maybe I'm thinking of this sign?

Thomas Charles and Allen P. after breakfast at the Copper Cart in Seligman, Arizona on the annual Fun Run, circa 1988

   Anyway, I absolutely loved the look of the movie, the story, not so much. A tad overcooked and too meta for me.

   Speaking of overcooked, yesterday we wandered over to our neighbors to watch this steaming pile.

Fast X 

Overdosing On Cake

   I remember being a kid and eating too much cake. It made me sick. Or, as a French guy famously put it in 1760:

“Qu’ils mangent de la brioche”

—Jean-Jacques Rousseau

   So, that is the problem with this latest behemoth of an extended car wreck. Full disclosure: I enjoyed the first 9, but this is what happens when you have too much CGI capability and you can make every scene over the top ridiculous. You get this mega cake—all-the-time—movie. 

Oh, And Famous Cameos Up The Ying Yang

   So what? Boring. In fact it was so boring Kathy left about halfway in and said she was going to Home Depot.

   This guy stayed until the end, but it must be said, snacks were involved.

"Let them eat cake."

—Marie Antonoiette

Jesse's Dark Turn

July 2, 2023

   One of the stranger developments in the Jesse James story is how he came home from the Civil War, seriously wounded, not once but twice, in the same lung, and, after a long and painful recuperation he settled down on the family farm north of Centerville, soon to be replaced by the new township of Kearney.

Jesse's Dark Turn

  He joined the local Baptist church and a parishioner, Dr. W. H. Price, remembered him: "Jesse joined the Baptist church in this place, after he came out of the army, in 1866. I think he was baptized, and for a year or two acted as if he was a sincere and true Christian. In his early years, and after he came out of the army, he was quiet, affable, and gentle in his actions. He was liked by every one who knew him."

Daily Whip Out: "Jesse's Dark Turn"

   In September of 1869, he resigned from the church. Was he bored? Was he nursing a deeper wound? Or, was it something else? It's hard to say, but at least he was forthright and honest enough about what he and his brother were about to do. Who else would formally resign from their church to go commit a terrible deed? It's not entirely clear what was going on his his head, but it appeared to have something to do with revenging the death of his commander, William T. Anderson. It was a very dark and tragic turn. One that offered no return, at least for Jesse. 

"It ain't no murder, killing beasts like that."

—H.G. Wells

The Final Resting Place of Jesse James' PR Agent

 July 1, 2023

   When it comes to studying history, I believe it pays to go walk the ground they walked and also to see the ground where they sleep.

Mark Lee Gardner at the grave

of John Newman Edwards

THE LAST SLEEP

[Special to the Kansas City Times.]

HIGGINSVILLE, Mo., May 6th.—In the old cemetery, just at the outskirts of the little town of Dover, ten miles from here, the body of John N. Edwards was buried this morning. It is a quiet, secluded spot, where the rumble of wagon wheels in the road near by are the only sounds, save the singing of birds, heard from one year's end to the other—just the place where one with Major Edwards' love of nature and the beautiful would desire to lie in his last long sleep. And it was his wish, frequently expressed, that he should be buried there. It is within easy view from the old Plattenburg homestead, where his wife spent her girlhood and he wooed and won her, and from which his body was carried to its last resting place this morning. From the windows the tombstones which mark the graves of the former residents of Dover are plainly visible. The whole scene is a pretty rural one, the scattering houses of Dover giving it just enough of an urban aspect to soften its outlines without destroying its primitive beauty. It was no wonder that one with the poetic temperament and chivalrous ideals of Major Edwards should choose the old Dover cemetery as his burial place, even if his early days had not endeared it to him.

________

   End of obit. Also, I must thank Mark's sister for the great tour of Jesse James' neighbor's house.

Terri Gardner in front of the Watkins Home

Watkins Woolen Mill State Park and Historic Site. The Watkins family were neighbors of the Jameses, and their correspondence often mentions the doings of the boys. The home and mill date to before the Civil War and would have been well known to Jesse and Frank.

   Also, here is a blast from the past in Lincoln, New Mexico, circa 1995.

   This appeared on New Mexico magazine, and there's "Saint Billy" on the wall behind them, where it hung for almost 30 years. By the way, I also have an excellent photograph by Dick George of Lincoln and it is in our bedroom, below, at left. It is guarded by a very strict watchdog.

Uno Guards The Dick George Lincoln Photo

   “Everyone thinks they have the best dog. And none of them are wrong.”

—W.R. Purch

Alamo Jones Is Still Rockin' The Old West Journal

 June 30, 2023

   Taped a new YouTube video on Jesse James today. Meanwhile. . . 

Alamo Jones Rocks Old West Journal Shirt!

    Got this photo from a True West reader, Alamo Jones who hails from St. Louis, asking me if I remember the Old West Journal (see the logo on his sleeve). Well, yes, of course I do. When we bought the magazine in 1999 we actually acquired three titles: Frontier Times, Old West magazine and True West magazine. For about a year we re-formatted Old West, into the Old West Journal, which was an offshoot publication, oversized in an effort to try something new and more hip.

Old West Journal, gone but not forgotten

   Our editor at the time, Marcus Huff led the charge on this and, in fact, he designed this Warhol-ish T-shirt design which still sells today. This shirt is twenty years old and Alamo is still wearing it! Here's the punk ad he probably answered to order the shirt:

Too Hip for The Room?

   Shot on location at a local church in Cave Creek. She had purple hair and worked in the mail room and he is a famous re-enactor nicknamed "Doc."

   The back cover, shot at the Boulder's in Carefree. Deann Giago, Flint Carney and two good looking friends who didn't want their names used in association with the title.

"The past is a foreign country. They do things differently there."

—Old Vaquero Saying