Strip Search Anyone?

September 6, 2013
  I'm sitting at Gate C-6 at Sky Harbor, waiting for a plane to take me back to Albququerque and another taping at Bonzanza Creek for the Military Channel. This time, I asked security if I could avoid the scanner which always flattens, mangles, and, or, smudges my hat. The first woman in uniform said "Fine," but when I filled the three bins with my belt, shoes, computer and overnight bag and attempted to hand her the hat for the detour around the scanner, she waved me on to another TSA mama, in this case a Real Grumpy Puss. When I told RGP my request, she said, "Just put it in a bin, sir."

  I finally looked her in the eye and said, "I would rather undergo a strip search than have that machine ding my $750 hat, again."

  She nodded in the direction of the scanner and I stepped in with the hat and we both cleared.

"Have a good day."
—No one said this to me, but my hat is dingless