November 28, 2004
Mixed results on my new $100-deadline-focus- regimen. I lost an entire day Thursday (Thanksgiving) as I spent all my available time in the morning working on this blog. Was it worth it? Maybe, but it was a distraction and off purpose, and is so typical of a person, like me, with ADD. Still, it's no excuse.

We went over to Betty Radina's for the traditional dinner at 1:30. Very nice meal and fun. Debbie Radina was there, along with James Radina who drove over from Southern Cal, and Brad, Carol, EJ and Mercedes Radina were there, along with Deena and Thomas, and Justine and Lee. Towards evening we played Scrabble. Haven't played since at least 1967. Tomcat won on a disputed word ("jax") but nobody cared too much.

Came home and watched a brilliant documentary called American Movie which is about this obsessed young guy in Wisconsin who wants to make horror movies ("The Coven," and "Northwestern" are his corny vehicles, both written, directed and starring himself, of course). The doc painfully captures his ridiculous, immature, adolescent obsession with making these loser movies, complete with his stoned-out-friend and his poor, put-upon family who he abuses for money and their time, all the while avoiding getting a real job. And although it has a quasi-happy ending, the psychosis of the guy and his insidious, selfish dream which he puts above everything and everybody else was downright painful to watch. Obviously I totally related to the guy. And although Kathy cut me some slack (afterwards I asked her on a scale of one to ten, how much she thought the guy was like me, and she answered "a five.") I must admit I'm way too much like the guy in too many ways. As Elliot West put it on the H-West board a few days ago, "Sometimes you have to put the mirror up to yourself and take a good, long look." And when I look in the mirror, I'd say it is a solid eight. Ouch!

Yesterday was much more focussed and successful. Worked almost all day on writing and inputting copy for the book. The rest of the family went down to Scottsdale to visit Deena in her new condo. They went to a movie (Invincibles) and ate Mexican food (Rolberto's) but I was a good boy and stayed home.

Looking for another good working day today. I sure do battle with discipline. I'll do good for a couple days then lose three. Really an issue with me. Ralph thinks it is merely a choice. Hmmmmm:

"Discipline is a matter of choice. You can discipline yourself now, or you can have a much harsher discipline imposed on you later."
—Ralph Marston
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