The Gotcha Gang: And You Call Yourself A History Magazine?

 December 7, 2025

  Saw a blooming sunflower on our walk this morning and Uno got a little excited.

Uno Licks Chops

Invasion of The Gotcha Goobers!

   One of my least favorite aspects of owning a history magazine are the semi-frequent swipes at our veracity, or, put another way, the verbal attacks on our authenticity. Case in point: this snothead kid came after Marshall Trimble over some inane claim by the owners of the Birdcage Theater which Marshall repeated in his column and this Gotcha Gang Kid attacked Trimble's bonafides and ended it with an attack on us with this precious bromide: "and you call yourself a history magazine!"

   As my friend Allen Fossenkemper puts it: "The Gotcha Gang members are probably half right and half crazy." That's a big Amen, from all of us in the history trenches.

   We are dedicated, fallible professionals. When the dust settles, history is about understanding change. That is not as easy as it sounds. All that said, I love what Margaret Atwood says about criticism like this: "One glance from my baleful eyes and strong men weep, clutching their groins, lest I freeze their gonads to stone."

Coming Soon from Boze Studios. . .

The Night Man

   Back in the late sixties a 19-year-old budding writer I knew took an overnight shift at a lonely Route 66 gas station so he could have some quality down time to work on his writing. It didn't go like he thought it would. On the writing front, he knew pretty fast he was raking a dead fire. He grew frustrated and depressed and he told me by the third night he began to write down his impressions of the odd customers who seemed to get odder and stranger, as the shift wore on. And, it wasn't just the weird customers, he confided to me, the closer to dawn, the creepier everything became.

Dodge Charger In The Outside Lane

   But the strangest encounter he had was with a Show Girl from Vegas. Or, at least that's what she told him she was when she came in the lube room without a stitch on.

"What do I have to do for a tank of gas?"

"I prided myself on seeing things others ignored or refused to see."

—The Nightman

Sigler Museum Folks Pitch A Doozy

 December 6, 2025

   Here's another sunrise yawner.

Sunrise Over Black Mountain in Cave Creek

   What does $7 million dollars look like on a wall?

Dan Finley, executive director, standing with a

Charlie Russell painting, The Navajos, 1919

at the Sigler Museum in Wickenburg, Arizona

   Yesterday, I met with Dr. Tricia Loscher and Dan who is noted for his development of innovative programs, team-building skills, fiscal management, fundraising ability, and for creating strategic alliances with staff, board members, volunteers, and the community. Tricia and Dan want to do a show with my art to open their new museum wing. I am quite honored and we will have some fun.

   Coming soon from Boze studios

(featuring a new dimension of terror!)

   The water was shallow so he rode deeper into the chasm.

Daily Whip Out: "Death Canyon Rider"

More Feedback On The John Ringo Mystery

   "I challenge my friend Janelle's theory [who posited that Ringo was murdered]. Having read over the actual coroner's records any number of times, and with a clear-eyed look at all of the circumstances, I'm personally quite satisfied that Ringo killed himself. I have researched and reviewed literally hundreds of homicides and suicides spanning the 1880s - 1930s and I can honestly tell you there is nothing especially remarkable in the self-murder of Ringo. Suicides are strange things and those led to that place travel there by a number of roads. Ringo is no exception. His case is very much like that of any number of other suicides where chronic alcoholism plays a supporting role. We, historians and buffs alike, have made Ringo's demise more important now than it ever was at the time. And if Earp, or some partisan of Earp's, had gone to the trouble to kill Ringo in that lonely place, then why not kill Pete Spence, Wes Fuller, Jerry Barton, Ike Clanton or any of the other 'Cowboys' who remained in Cochise County once Earp and Holliday fled as fugitives?"

—Samuel K. Dolan, author/historian

Warning: Dad Joke Ahead!

   I have a joke about procrastination but I'll tell it to you later.

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."

—Old Vaquero Saying

Dad Jokes Galor All Beyond Hope

December 5, 2025

   Going over to Wickenburg this morning to see all the latest goings on at the newly named Sigler Museum. Should be fun.

Return of The Sivulogi!

Daily Whip Out: "Dust Devil Incarnate"

The Sinagua In-dins called dust devils "sivulogi," and the word was uttered in a hushed whisper, out of respect, because they believed dust devils are evil spirits emerging from the ground.

Warning: Dad Joke Ahead!

   A short psychic just broke out of prison. Be on the lookout for a small medium at large. 

   Coming soon from Boze Studios. . .

Beyond Hope

   Open on a seen-better-days shack on the edge of the Mojave Desert. A van is parked outside with a sign on the side that says, “La Paz County Indigent Services Department."

   Inside is a hoarder’s nest of Boomer ephemera and an old hipster with white hair and beard sitting on a lawn chair in the middle of it all.

   A prim and professional female attendant with a clipboard says slowly: “Can you please state your name and where you are from?”

   “I am but a traveler in the cosmos. My name is unimportant.

   “Who is the president of the United States?”

   “Some guy who shouldn’t be president of the United States.”

   “Do you remember your wife’s name?”

   “Which one?”

   “Can you recite your favorite song lyric?”

   “Hey mama, look at me, I’m on my way to the Promise Land. . .”

   “How long have you been living here?”

   “Long enough to know not to talk to government officials!”

   “Have you had feelings of depression in the past?”

   “Yes, I once was forced to watch CSPAN”

   The attendant pulls up her phone, hits speed dial and after a pause, says: "We're gonna need a couple handlers out here with restraining equipment."

"You can't trust atoms. They make up everything."

—Old Vaquero Dad Saying

Get Ready for A Whole Lot of True In The Next True West

December 3, 2025

   Got up to go out and get the newspaper at the end of the driveway and spied this across the road.

Another Ridiculous Sunrise

Over Ratcliff Ridge 

   I know what you're thinking: "BBB is still getting a newspaper delivered to his house?" Yes, as a matter of fact, I get two newspapers delivered to my house and it's worth every penny of the $1,700 a year it costs to feed and clothe those delivery people.

   Meanwhile, got this from my favorite little Aussie Bastard:

An Arizona trapper and his dog, late 1880s

   "I swear to God that is you and Uno in a previous life."

—James B. Mills

 Final Illustration

    U.S. Marshal Dick Speed steps out from the doorway of Light's Blacksmith shop and asks a local kid, "Who is that rider?" The boy replies, "Why, that's Bitter Creek!" Seeing the outlaw fill his hands, Speed jerks his Winchester to his shoulder and fires.

Daily Whip Out:

"Dick Speed Takes Aim #4"

Is It True That True Is In The Next True West?

True that!

   Not long after the Covid shutdown, we here at the magazine were stressed to the gills in a challenging media landscape, and our editor, Stuart Rosebrook, recommended we go to an Arizona dude ranch and recharge. Long story short, our stay at the White Stallion Guest Ranch was a revelation and a wonderful getaway in our own back yard. Ever since I have been a fan of, and a believer in the "simplicity of living" you get from the dude ranch experience. And, coming full circle, we have chosen as our recipient for the True Westerner Award this year to a guy named True. I kid you not.

   Also, as you probably know by now, our great pard Marshall Trimble has retired (he's 86) and he gave us his blessing to continue the column with the stipulation that we assign it to someone who loves the subject matter and knows what they are talking about. I think we made the, ahem, right move. Details in the issue going to press next Tuesday.

Uno In The Shade

"Why did Uno sit in the shade? Because he didn't want to be a hot dog."

—Old Vaquero Humor

Ladies We Helped You Pick Up Men And You Are Welcome Plus The Wildest Ringo Theory Yet

 December 2, 2025

   Well, it's been almost fifty years since we published this cover, and I must say, it helped so many women I know find a mate. True, some of the headlines haven't aged well. . .

   It was pretty damn funny at the time. Speaking of humor gone awry. . . This morning a message went out to Razz band members everywhere: "I have some good news and I've got some bad news: we're getting the Razz band back together for a non-paying gig in Seligman next April.

   "Okay, I lied. There is no good news."

The original Razz band, circa '79

   That is, of course, a snotty joke. Promising a gig with no pay is just the biggest No-No you can ever say to a musician. It's not even one bit funny.

   Sorry. We actually have a potential gig coming up on old Route 66 in Selgiman. Going to be a big one.

The Reformed Razz Band, 2024

(in the Palace Bar, Whiskey Row,

 Prescott, Arizona)

   Why is it that the craziest conspiracy theories are the easiest to believe?

"The last book on Ringo I read said the freighter that found Ringo was the one who killed him as he knew him in as an opponent in the Mason County War. He shot him while he was asleep and when he saw Ringo's body hadn't been discovered the following day he rose the alarm."

—Anonymous

Snuggling In With The Unocito And Dick Speed Finally Takes Aim

 November 30, 2025

   Built a fire in the house fireplace last night and we all snuggled in and stared at the fire for about an hour. No TV, just watched the dancing flames, and listened to the popping sparks of joy.

A Two-Box Night

   Yes, it took two empty Amazon boxes for fire fodder to get it going, but once it was going, it was a snuggly thing. Which reminds me of one of the most obtuse and clever band names ever: Three Dog Night, which referred to such a cold night you needed three dogs on the bed to keep warm. One final note: they sure evaporated into nothingness, in spite of several humongous hits: "Joy to The World," "Eli's Comin'" and "One (Is The Loneliest Number)." What the hell happened to Three Dog Night?

   Finally got untracked on a new version of the opening of the legendary Ingall's Oklahoma gunfight.

Daily Whip Out Study:

"Dick Speed Takes Aim"

  

"Don't give up on your dreams—keep sleeping!"

—Old Vaquero Saying

More Ringo Demise Opinions

 November 29, 2025

   He was found with brain matter running down his cheek by a wood hauler's dog.

Ringo Sitting Silently In The Bough of A Tree

       And the opinions keep rolling in:

  "Ringo was, in my opinion, targeted and murdered. The timing is suspect, the opportunity present, and the motive crystal. To say Wyatt himself did it is a bit on the nose, though. Wyatt didn’t have to. He had friends in all the right places. To say Ringo’s wound was self-inflicted is to give the man too much credit. Death was at his doorstep, sure… and he’d seen how TB could turn a man’s lights off, but I don’t know of anyone who ever took their boots off before meeting their maker. Hat, perhaps. Boots, never."

—Janelle Molony, author of Birds Gone Wild (And Other Stories of Arizona Ostrich Ranching).

 

   "I’m not going to speculate on Ringo’s death, for that’s exactly what it would be, speculation. However, I will point out that the Tombstone Epitaph reported that those 'intimately acquainted' with Ringo were equally divided as to whether the Cowboy was murdered or took his own life. So it is today, but now with historians and buffs in place of Ringo’s associates. If we had an eyewitness to Ringo’s death, things would be different. Then again, hundreds of people witnessed the Kennedy assassination – and we even have film footage of it – and yet that event remains one of the most controversial in American history. Quién sabe."

—Mark Lee Gardner, author of Brothers of the Gun: Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday, and a Reckoning in Tombstone (Dutton Books, 2025)

"He said he was as certain of being killed as he was of living then. He said that he might run along for a couple years more, and may not last two days."

—Sam Purdy, of The Tombstone Epitaph