A New Quantrill? An Old Pendejo

 November 4, 2024

   Got a heads up from one of my Jesse James compadres about a newly discovered, unpublished photo which appears to be almost too good to be true.

Colonel W. C. Quantrill?

It is a cool image and the asking price is $3,000 to start. Here are the first couple paragraphs in the online offering: "A spectacular, likely unpublished armed view of the notorious guerilla leader, boldly signed in ink on verso - 'Col. W C Quantrill/May 1864.' In our opinion the autograph matches Quantrill's known signature. The carte bears the imprint of 'Mansfield's City Gallery, St. Louis, MO.' The mustachioed Quantrill appears outfitted in a conspicuous combination of Plains buffalo skin coat having broad fold over collar and fringed buckskin trousers."

—Live Auctioneers

Later in the day, the same friend had by then done a deep dive on the provenance and had this to add:

"Quantrill was active in western Missouri in May, 1864, and not anywhere close to St. Louis, where the photographer was located. Also, St. Louis was firmly under Union control and had been for a long time. The photographer's studio was located directly across the street from the Planter's House, perhaps the most popular hotel in St. Louis. That's the last place one would find Quantrill. Now, someone who truly believes in the image could claim it's a copy photograph. Maybe. However, I could see some westerner visiting St. Louis and having his portrait taken, as many did, and that dude's fringed attire is definitely western. You know, there are so many purported photographs of Quantrill out there now it's hard to know what to believe. The only one I have any faith in is the one that appeared as the frontispiece in the 1877 first edition of Edwards' Noted Guerrillas."

—Mark Lee Gardner

Like Mark, my friends always have good stories to tell. Here is another one from another friend.

A Ruined Horse

"Years ago, way out at Chaco Canyon before roads and civilization made travel much easier, the park ranger on staff needed to get funding to feed his horse that he used for riding and patrolling.  The Feds, aka The National Park Service, said no funds were available for his animal.  He would have to pay for that.  Well obviously being unfair and typical government stupidity, this Ranger thought and thought how he could get that extra funding which was badly needed and naturally, his salary was not the best. Eventually he submitted a bill to the NPS for Ruins’ Stabilization which was of course understandable in an archaeological area and passed the rules for funds allotted.  Thus, for several years the fellow kept getting funds in that way.  When he retired one of his buddies asked him how he survived.  He told them the story of Ruins Stabilization.   He simply named his horse Ruins."

—Lynda Sanchez 

   And, speaking of Lynda, a good friend of hers. Prof. Brian Obregon Dillon, suggested a couple alternate names for a character I have been developing, which I have been calling El Pendejo. Obregon suggests:

Daily Whip Out: "Senor Tormento."

(Spanish for Mister Windstorm)

   Yes, Mister Tormento came in on a dust devil, solved a big, fat, thorny problem, and left the same way.

   My son, meanwhile, thinks El Pendejo is still the strongest name for the character. He thinks it's zanier. 

"Finding the right word is the difference between lightning and lightning bug."

—Mark Twain