Tuesday, June 17, 2025

True Confessions of A Trophy Husband

 June 17, 2025

   You can imagine my surprise when I opened the Amazon box 24 hours after the expiration of Father's Day to discover a T-shirt with an empowering two word message.

A Belated Father's Day Gift

   At that moment, all of the symptoms flooded back to me. It was so obvious, how did I not recognize the warning signs?


• She often introduces me as "arm candy."


• Not once in 47 years of marriage did she ever say, "I wish you were better looking."


• I heard her once brag that I sometimes take out the trash without her having to ask me to do it!


• She never made me wear a Brad Pitt mask during sex. Okay, maybe that one time.


   Believe me, there's other telltale signs, but I don't have time to make them up.


"Married people live longer because they can't afford to die."

—Old Vaquero Saying

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