Classic True West vs. Topless Card Dealers and Bandito Sneers

 March 5, 2026

   In every issue, we run "Classic True West," where we take an old article from our storied past, present it as if from the vault, and print it on colored paper to look aged. 

   Recently, Mark Lee Gardner complained to me that he never reads them and that they just seem like "space fillers." That troubles me. Do you read Classic True West, or, do you agree with Mark's assessment?

   When in doubt, I say, portray a line of feisty females.

Daily Scratchboard Whip Outs:

"A Line of Feisty Females"

   Or, if that fails, a topless card dealer covers many a bet. . .

"Las Tules"

"Men are like campfires. If you don't tend to them, they go out."

—Las Tules

"Eventually, if you're lucky in life, you find someone with the same chemical imbalance you have."

—Robert Breault

“Laws catch flies, but let hornets go free.”

—Old Vaquero Saying

Daily Whip Out: "Bandito Sneer"

And, at the end of the day. . .

"When I was young I was poor. But after years of hard work, I am no longer young."

—Old Vaquero Saying

Daily Whip Out: "Poor Paisano"

Biographies Galore: My Own Little Squeak for Attention

 March 3, 2026

   What can we do to advance the stories we want to tell? Plenty. Back in the day, down Mexico way, who did they call to track down the toughest of them all?

Daily Whip Out:

"Diego Avila Rurale Suprema"

   Meanwhile, across the border up on Aravaipa Creek there roamed this strange cat. . .

Daily Revised Whip Out:

"Tom Horn In The Wind"

(there was always something rather windy

about him)

   Some sixty-five years later, across the wide flats (the tortilla ones), the Heatwave Cafe stood and another legend was born.

"When the Queen of Country Swing

 Went Full Outlaw"

Warning: On this one, you might stand clear if you possess gonads.

   Yes, I have all of these mini-biographies I want to do, and perhaps the time will come after December 19 when I will finally have enough time to do them.

"I went to the biography section to find my own book, as first-time authors do, and stared hard at the place it should have been."

—Ian McEwan, What We Can Know

   One more, a couple more paragraphs below that one:

"Or, was it pique at the absence of my own John Clare, my own little squeak for attention."

—Ian McEwan, ibid

“Flattery sits in the parlor, while plain truth is kicked out the door.”

—Old Vaquero Saying

Gravedigger's Remorse: "Your work is valued even though you cover it up"

 March 2, 2026

   Most projects need two things: patience and the right wind. Here's a good example:

   Just got a link to some new Old West songs created by Jeffrey Schreckler. I really, ahem, dig the first tune about being a gravedigger. I've been listening to it all morning. Very haunting.

Check it out:

Rattle Them Bones: I Am A Gravedigger

   And, here is Jeffrey's insight on how the song came about: 

   "I was up in Flagstaff looking for Commodore Perry Owens' grave.  When I finally found it, there was a gravedigger digging a grave, right next to Owen's plot.  The man in the hole never acknowledged me and I took it as a sign of respect for the dead.  As I walked around the graveyard I stumbled on to the mass grave for the Airplane crash at the Grand Canyon and thought of how hard that job would be. And, as I looked back at the gravedigger at the Owen's site, I thought about what it would be like and how you would have to come to grips with the reality of the job.  He was by himself and I figured probably that was for the best to show no emotion.   It hit me that it would be hard if it was a child. 'The Smallest holes  are the ones you feel. . .' It jolts you back to reality.   The sadness  of unmarked graves as well—you made it this far only to be lost. What if you traveled across  the country following wars ?   One of the most profound thoughts I had, was the respect for the work. 'I take care of your loved ones and I give'm a toast.' What would be the worst part of it?  Digging in hard soil. Hitting rocks—who hasn’t hit a rock digging a hole ?

   "I have written pieces of 1000 songs but this one came  really quick. With only two changes in probably 30 minutes.  Some never get done. This one hung around because it had to have haunting fiddles  I could hear it.  But I could not find a fiddle player.   AI saved me.

   "All my motivation is from  Hank Williams Sr, John Prine, Bob Dylan, Tyler Childress,  Townes Van Zandt, Steel drivers, Lightfoot, Johnny Horton. I wrote it so Colter Wall could sing it. I envision Commodore Perry Owens standing in the moonlight  in a grave, his grave about knee deep leaning on a shovel  with a poker grin. A lantern on the mound, lighting his name on the headstone. We dig our own graves, don’t we?"

—Jeffrey Schreckler

Commodore Perry Owens: "I could see that."

"At the end of the day, you only get to keep what you give away."

—Old Vaquero Saying

The AI Dustup Is Just Beginning And I Feel Fine

 March 1, 2026

   In the pre-dawn of the AI revolution, it's still a little too dark to see, but a couple things seem apparent to me. One is, graphic artificial intelligence is amazing, but still a little crude. So far, I think I can spot it every single time. When it comes to Old West subjects it has a penchant for bad hats (actually, accurate hats from the wrong era) and phony approximations that look too mechanical.

   That said, I sure would like to see an AI application make this move.

Daily Whip Out: "Dusty Faces In The Crowd"

Staying Ahead of The Curve

   When it comes to AI, are we ahead of the curve, or are we right behind the eight ball? There is a certain thing that AI can do that is crazy good, and then there are things yet to be discovered.

   Something on the trail made Mickey's mule Tú come up short. 

Daily Whip Out: "Dead Ahead"

   Meanwhile, up north a powerful dream is unfolding.

Daily Whip Out: "Sitting Bull's Dream"

   Sometimes when I look up it makes me very happy.

Mucho Hats Hung On The Ceiling

   I love this analogy by one of the sharpest minds of our era. If you love sports, at the end of the day, we are all rooting for laundry.

Rooting for Laundry

   "Love my team, even though we know, of course, they're not really teams. We block that out. We have to. Players go to different teams. Teams go to different cities. The uniform is the only constant. Why am I yelling, 'Go, New York, go!' at a guy from East Illinois that'll be playing in Phoenix next season? That's sports. The uniform is the only constant. We just want our clothes to beat the clothes from the other city. We're rooting for laundry. That's really all sports is. If a player leaves your team, then comes back and plays against your team? The hostility. 'Booo. . .Different shirt.' Exact same human being.'I hate this guy. He's in a different shirt.'

—Jerry Seinfeld, Is This Anything? 

What Exactly Is Discovered When You Study History?

 February 28, 2026

   I have always been struck by how close the lawful and the lawless were in The Old West. Especially along the Mexican border. This is the theme of a story I am noodling about an American outlaw and a Rurale who confront both sides of redemption in the foothills of the Sierra Madre.

   Come to think of it, I have never been at a loss for story ideas. It's the finishing of them that has been the problem.

   He rode a mammoth jack sixteen hands high and when he crossed at Nogal, the buzzards followed along.

   At Window Rock the Apache Kid and Beauty barely escaped as a 45/70 zinged near their feet.

Daily Whip Out: "Killer Angel"

"When you study history you realize people have been this stupid for thousands of years."
—Old Vaquero Saying

Daily Whip Out: "Old Vaquero Side Glance"

Sugarloaf Culture And Zapata Brims

 February 27, 2026

  As you may know it's not hard for me to get enthusiastic about Sugarloaf hat culture.

Daily Whip Out:

"Barefoot Sonoran Paisano con Sugarloaf"

   Yes, I love those old sugarloafs and bemoan the lack of them in Western films In my opinion, every single film about the Old West should at least have a version of this hat style on a variety of characters.

Under The Hondo Brim

   Even films made in Mexico seem to have a hard time replicating the very hats they made so famous.

Low Crowns All Around

   But, at least the latest bio-pic on Doroteo Arango went to the trouble to include a big, ol' sugarloaf, or two.

Pancho meets Emilio Zapata in the film.

And, that would be this film.

At least it is a step in the right direction.

Viva Mexico Cabrone, Indeed!

   One of these days I am going to pull the trigger on this little book project and then the big, tall sugarloafs will get their due.

Custom lettering by Bob Steinhilber

"Nothing happens in Mexico, until it does."

—Porfirio Diaz

A Cacti Dream Come True

Total Freedom In Art Is A Dangerous Mirage

 February 25 , 2026

   If you are like me, you find wisdom in the strangest places.

Daily Revised Whip Out:

"Old Vaquero In Dust II"

"I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?"

—Old Vaquero Saying

Radio Heads Break Bread

   Thanks to Jeanne Sedello, I had lunch today with a radio legend.

Knives Out

Bob Pugh and BBB at The Capital Grille 

(with Barry Goldwater looking on)

We were on opposite sides of the table as KSLX (he was management and I was "talent") but we both survived and prospered and it was fun to catch up with him.

Hitting The Road This Summer On Route 66

According to the nationwide survey, 41% of U.S. adults plan to visit some part of Route 66, with another 15% expressing interest after learning about the centennial. I'll see you in Seligman on April 30. Art Vs. Commerce    Perhaps you have heard of the films The Godfather and Dances With Wolves?    Both were made under duress with stressful contraints put upon the artists who made them and according to insiders they were constantly battling "the suits." Everyone wondered what Francis Ford Coppala and Kevin Costner could do if they had total freedom to make art. Well, eventually, They both got their wish.  Costner reportedly spent $38 million of his own money on Horizon and Francis Ford spent a staggering $120 million of his own dough (he owns a winery) on Megalopolis and both projects bombed horribly. Audiences claim they were both laughably awful, with a rambling narrative, no center, just half-baked subplots and a ton of mega hubris. And they both lost a boatload of money.

   So, what is the lesson?

"Art lives by constraint and dies from freedom."

—Andre Gide

Tim Prythero Delivers On A Route 66 Dream

 February 24, 2026

   Well, my father didn't live to see it, but I think of him every day when I walk by this in the living room.

Tim Prythero's miniature of Al Bell's Flying A

   And, here is the day Tim presented me the commissioned piece in 2016.

Me and Tim Prythero with his wonderful miniature of Al Bell's Flying A

   And here is the detail in the review I read about him that just knocked me out:

The green is under the window cooler.

"So keen is his eye that when gallery owner Lise Hoshour pointed out to him that one of the bits of shrubbery behind the motel appeared greener weed Prythero explained that the greener weed was under the dripping air conditioner “

—Karen Evans, Saturday Review, August 1985

The Influence of A Windshield Wiper And Tim Prythero Captures The Route 66 Era Perfectly

February 23, 2026

   I have washed my share of windshields in my time, but here is another perspective on the history of the whole squeegee task. . . 

   "I pulled into an Arco gas station in Apache Junction. Gas was cheap so I thought I’d fill it up. While waiting, I got out to wash my windows. I grabbed the squeegee with the sponge on the back, got the windows wet and was in the process of squeegeeing off the water when I noticed a particularly tenacious dead bug. I was paying attention to how I was using the mesh covered sponge and scrubbing the bug off. It dawned on me that this technology was probably about 50 years old.

   "Suddenly, I found myself thinking about my friend, Bob Bell, who told me about when you pulled into his father's gas station—Al Bell's Flying A—you got air in the tires, your oil checked, and your windows washed. Suddenly, in my mind, I realized that in an odd way Al Bell was standing right beside me looking at how I was removing that bug… Would he have advice? Would he approve… Disapprove… interesting that work wise, Al probably washed his last windshield sometime in the 70s and it was over 50 years later but he was still part of that story!"

—Mad Coyote Joe

Ralph Stayner washing a windshield at Al Bell's Phillips 66, 1963. That's the El Trovatore Motel across the street.

(this is an 8mm film screen grab)

  Meanwhile, another artist, this one from Albuquerque, has captured the old Route 66 world in a very cool way. His name is Tim Prythero and I have been a fan since the eighties when I read about his incredible attention to detail in creating his miniature roadside attractions, mostly along old Route 66.

   Ha. The green street sign at lower left says, "Yah Ta Hey"

   I made a vow that someday I would commission Tim to do a miniature of my father's Flying A in Kingman. You know, this one. . .

 

Al Bell's Flying A

   And, I am happy to say that in 2016 I fulfilled that dream. A photo of that little treasure tomorrow.

 "Tim Prythero's miniature world draws us in, attracting us to a place where the future has closed down, and where the uncountable details of anonymous lives have slowly accumulated in the weight of gravity of time. Each tiny meticulously constructed tableau provides a heart-breaking description of America's indeluctable loneliness."

—William Peterson

Legendary Zonies Mickey Free And Wonderful Russ

 February 22, 2026

   Circling back to a certain one-eyed, red-headed captivo.

Daily Whip Out:

"Mickey Cuts Through The Blinding Dust"

   And, if it wasn't the damn dust, it was the incessant fires, dogging his trail.

Daily Whip Out:

"Mickey On His Mammoth Jack 

Jumps Through The Flames"

   Random fires burned along the ridges and down into the border canyons. Picking his way along, around the edges when possible, Mickey pushed on to the south. From there the fires dissapated, but here and there flames still swirled along the edges.

Daily Whip Out: "The Coyote Returns"

   This went on for miles, but finally. . .

Daily Whip Out:

"Mickey Finally Escapes The Valley of Fire"

  Mickey Free, finally found a route out of the valley inferno and crossed over into Bacanora. Everyone agreed that all in all, he did not have the most pleasant visage.

Daily Whip Out: "Mickey's Dead Eye Stare"

alternative title:

"Displeasure Was Stamped Upon His Features"

   So, that is one of my favorite Arizona's legends and here is another.

One Truly Irregular Arizonan

Dan Harshberger and I started the Razz Revue "Magazomic" in 1972 and in the spring of '73 we were inspired to do 103 Irregular Arizonans and we had our friends and friends of friends nominate people who they believed were different, or, ahem, Irregular. One of the nominees was Wonderful Russ who was, at the time doing zany moving company ads on KDKB radio and his crazy delivery and voice timber made him a legend. When I tracked him down, he agreed to came over to the Park Lee Apartments just south of Camelback and 15th Ave where we were renting and had our office (in the living room!) and Dan and I interviewed Russ and he was a total laugh riot. Afterwards, I walked him out to his car and took this now classic photo of Russ Shaw, Jr. Major Humor Master And Zane Bro Number One!

Zane Bro Number 1—Wonderful Russ

April, 1973

   And here's the cover, designed by Dan The Man and notice Wonderful Russ made the cover blurbs, as did Matt Siegel's Dog!

   Not long after this we pitched him on running for governor and the rest is Arizona history!

"If I am elected we will be blasting California off into the ocean so Arizona will have a sea port at Yuma."

—Wonderful Russ campaign promise

Red Head Redemption

 February  21, 2026

  Everyone knows black loves red.

Daily Whip Out:

"Red Head Redemption #21"

Daily Whip Out:

"Red Head Redemption #22"

Daily Whip Out:

"Red Head (Skeletor) Redemption #23"

   Yes, I am always amazed at how the combination of black and red creates a dynamic-pop-poster effect. And, speaking of poster boys. . .

Three Bell Boys In Long Beach

That's my dad on the left, Allen P. Bell, age 40. And that's me, on the right, age 16. And in the middle—doing a jig—is my farmer grandfather, Carl Marvin Bell, age 76. He's three years younger than I am now. Wow.

   In 1963 my uncle Glenn Marvin Bell (my dad's younger brother) married a pretty girl from Council Bluffs, Iowa, and moved to Long Beach, California to teach school. So, my grandparents, still on the family farm north of Thompson, Iowa, drove out to Kingman and stayed with us a few days and then my dad drove us all to Long Beach in his new '62 Olds to visit those other Bells. I had just received an 8mm camera which my dad traded for a tank of gas to some broke people trying to make it the Promised Land (California) and we had just gone to a Lutheran church on Sunday in Long Beach and we were all dressed up waiting to go to a restaurant for a sitdown Sunday breakfast and we were standing on their patio, and my uncle Glenn took my movie camera and started filming. My grandfather started doing a jig (a show off Bell? What are the odds?), which I thought was hilarious and that's how this frame from the movie came about.

   Speaking of show-off Bells, here is a semi-painful photo from out of my radio past.

The Razz Band opening for the Beach Boys

May 20, 1988

   (Alternate title) I could'ah been a contender, if only I hadn't worn those muy dorky jammies! One of our zany contributors to the Jones, Boze & Jeanne Show on KSLX was Brian Richards who portrayed Paul McCartney on our April Fool's Show and fooled the whole Valley. Meanwhile, Brian hired the Beach Boys to open a subdivision he was doing out in Mesa called Val Vista Lakes. He paid $98,000 for the privilege and he tapped us, The Razz Band, to be the opening act. Well, actually, that's too strong. He granted us the spot to open for the openers, meaning we got out on the stage and the Beach Boys had 95% of the stage locked down, and the opening act took about 4% of the remaining stage and we took what was left, which was maybe a half foot at the very edge of the stage. Not one of my favorite gigs, but then it was probably the biggest crowd we ever played for, some 30,000 Zonies who didn't quite understand why we were there. Ha.

"Well, east coast kids are hip I really dig those styles they wear. . .but I can't wait to get back in the sticks where the goobers from Kingman dress like dorks. . ."

—The Beach Boys, a paraphrasing of California Girls