January 13, 2006
I whipped out a couple "Still Miserable?" illustrations this morning for a certain therapist I know and often sleep with. It’s for an ad in the Sonoran News that will run next week. Robert McElroy helped me design the ad (I tipped him and Robert Ray $20 because it was on company time).

Dave Daiss stuck his head in my office yesterday and said, "Did you say on the History Channel that Billy the Kid was a transsexual?" Dave was over in Tombstone last week and one of the local gunleather guys was all in a lather about it. I repeated to Dave the old vaquero saying, “If you’re out to beat a dog, you’re bound to find a stick.” Seems like a whole bunch of folks down there have got me on their “Must Beat Boze Now” list and if you read this blog (or the magazine) you know why. The alleged "transsexual" comment is probably a distortion of a point I made on a History Channel program (I forget which) where I pointed out that some crazies actually believe because the Kid reportedly had small hands and feet that he was actually a woman. That part is true: that there are nuts who believe this, I’m just not one of them. But I do believe that the guy in Tombstone who made the comment is probably a transsexual wanna-be.

I guess I just found my own stick.

Another Google-Related Google Story
“I found your blog while googling for ‘McCracken Mine, Arizona’ which is where our club went last week for our field trip. I'm VP of the Needles Gem and Mineral Club, located (of course) in the only town junkies show an instant affinity for, as soon as you mention it by name. Not me, I live across the river in AZ!!!! I'm loving your blog! Being a retired engineer, exotic car freak and ex-musician (guitar of course—why ask?) I can relate to your blog which I have passed on to my e-mail lists as ‘blog of the week’. Probably more like ‘of the year’ actually, especially your wonderful ‘Old Vaquero Sayings’. Your blog may actually be the ‘gun to the head’ so to speak that forces people like me without the time to read another magazine into subscribing to your True West periodical.”
—Mike

Speaking of Needles, author Diana Gabaldon requested a copy of Even Lower Blows, a compilation of my New Times Weekly cartoons, for her husband. This morning, she added this question: “My husband Doug is dying to know about the ‘Boze’—is it a family name you adopted, or your actual middle name, or did you have siblings who called you ‘Bozo’ as a child?”

Diana,
As the lead-off hitter in a high school baseball game against our arch rivals, Needles, California, I hit a sharp, line drive into right-center field. As I rounded first, I realized I could easily make it to second, so I turned around and ran backwards the rest of the way, in a strutting, dyslexic rooster kind of way. We hated Needles, so this was my way of saying, on behalf of my teammates: "Welcome to Kingman, Putos." Our coach, Frank Baca (also my Spanish teacher), yelled out, "Payaso!" which means "clown" in Spanish. Cruel teammates, Charlie Waters prime among them, picked up on this and started calling me "Bozo," then "Boze." It stuck.

Our Train Extravaganza Is Picking Up Some Steam
“A new client of mine in Scobey, MT just received the March issue. He loved it and especially liked the big feature on trains. As a result of receiving the issue Mike Stebleton with the Daniel County Museum decided to advertise in this issue instead of next year’s travel issue.

“Their BIG thing is the "Dirty Shame Show" which is celebrating 40 years in
2006. Check out their show at this site:”
—Sue Lambert

www.scobey.org

Calling All Horse Saying Experts
I have been searching for this horse saying:

One sock, buy him

Two socks, try him

three socks, ??

four socks, pass him by.

“Do you know this saying?? Can you finish the missing lines? Or who said it? Maybe you can refer me to a book for reference? Thanks!”
—Sheree

I can’t, but I’ll bet someone reading this can (perhaps that Transsexual Horse's Ass Expert in Tombstone?)

Managing Editor Defends Turf
“Pilgrimage is also an intransitive verb, but that's besides the point. It is used as a noun. I wouldn't even have list in there, I'd write it as:

My Personal Pilgrimages
(and the years I finally landed)

“Year should be pluralized, not singular as it was in the copy.”
—Meghan Saar, Managing Editor, True West magazine

Favorite Onion Headline de Jour
Headlights Caught In Deer

“It takes one to know one.”
—Old Transsexual Saying