January 21, 2006
Chilly out. Took the dogs for a bike run. Bundled up, rode with one hand in pocket, came back and cleaned out my studio stove (bought at Big Bug Creek Antique Barn for $900 many years ago. One of the best investments I've ever made). Got a big fire going, then went over to the house and started drawing on the kitchen table (I know, I know, mega-ADD behavior). I bailed into painting Mexican bandidos and it’s mucho fun. I clip mug shots out of the paper when the mood strikes me. You can’t make up those perp stares! I then cannibalize the facial expressions and marry them to Old West period photos from the many books on Mexico, vaqueros and California outlaws (thanks Bill Secrest and John Boessenecker) in my library. I whipped out nine so far today. I want to put them together in a yearbook like sequence, which is how the early California lawmen did it. This is for the Tiburcio Vasquez raid on Kingston, California (near Fresno). We know the names of many of the raiders but there’s only two or three photos of the participants, so I want to flesh out the rest, but in a vague, less specific sort of way.

Speaking of vague, several readers of this blog asked to see the eye-patch I wore after my torn retina operation and I have hesitated to post them because, well, it’s not the most flattering photos ever taken of me. But this blog is about the truth, warts and all, so here you go.

Perhaps Wrangler will think twice about giving me those free jeans to wear, although I really think I could open up their clothing line to a new audience. Here’s a couple of slogans and ad copy I came up with to get them inspired:

• Trendsetters Tout New Torn Retina Look

• Wrangler: Our Jeans Look Good On Asses

• Baby Boomers With Budding Spare Tires Seek to Emulate Semi-blind Ex-Drummer

These slogans are totally free! Although I have a hunch their legal department may have a problem with this. Maybe this is a more accurate headline in the coming days and months:

• Wrangler Seeks Restraining Order Against Media Whore

Favorite Onion Headline de Jour
Woman With Amazing Rack Told She Has Beautiful Eyes

“The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.”
—Charles Darwinn