January 31, 2006
Nice to be home in my own bed. Warm out this morning. Of course, just about anything is warmer than northern Wyoming in January. Got into the office at about 8:30 and had a meeting with Trish Brink and Sue Lambert on how to leverage all the good will we encountered last weekend. I want to send one of my books and complimentary subs to a long list of people, both in Cody and Sheridan. Speaking of Sheridan. . .

Dance With The Injun Who Brung Ya Department
“If I'm not mistaken (it's been since 1988) but Joe LaForge is a descendent of one of Custer's scout's Mitch Bouyer:

http://www.friendslittlebighorn.com/Mitch%20Bouyer.htm

"Joe was one of the family that represented Bouyer at the unveiling of his new marble marker at Little Bighorn Battlefield in 1988. You danced with a descendent of a Sitting Bull victim!!!"
—Bob Reece, Maniac # 21

Stranger Than Crap Department
"I love this magazine. I love Mexican food and I love Star Trek:TNG. It's on top of mind since I am watching an episode at lunch at work right now. Sorry I digress!

"What did people do on horseback or wagon train years ago for toilet paper? Or was it around?"
—Matt

Matt,
The short answer: leaves, smooth rocks and pages out of the Montgomery Ward Catalogue. Native Americans were even more creative utilizing other plants and even their off hand (which allegedly is why we shake with our right hand, to show good faith and not our poo poo hand). We'll see what the Marshall says (I forwarded your question to him). He knows his crap pretty well.

And how! Here’s Marshall’s answer:

"Things like dysentery and diaper rash were the nemesis of frontier life and makes one question whether the 'good old days' were really that good.

"Early-day Americans used a variety of ways to clean up ranging from leaves and grass to corn cobs. That old 'Monkey Ward' or Sears and Roebuck catalog cleaned many a butt. Nice thing about those is a man could look at the women's underwear ads while he was doing his business. To some the hand had to suffice. Hopefully they used their left hand. In some cultures today the right hand is the eating hand and the left is 'dung hand.' Eueee!

"Other countries in early times used a variety of things. The Vikings used discarded wool; French royalty used lace or silk; and the Romans used sponge. It wasn't until 1890, about the time of the closing of the frontier, that the Scott Paper Company came out with toilet paper on a roll. The marketing of such an unmentionable product caused the company to be so embarrassed it wouldn't put it's name on the package. It turned out to be a great success and the company really cleaned up...sorry.

"Today Americans are far and away the biggest consumers of toilet paper. Not a bad idea to take some along when you travel abroad. It's something you don't think much about until you need it."
—Marshall Trimble

“P.S. But wait....there's more. I just thought of this one....sand or dirt. It doesn't sound too pleasant but what if there was nothing else? Think of those pour souls Jedediah Smith and his band out in the Mojave Desert. If you had a choice between a cholla cactus or sand, which would you choose?”
—M. T.

Favorite Onion Headline de Jour
Some Dork Brought In To Address Civics Class

I never realized this before, but I'm dung-handed. Also, I’m getting set to do a Classic Gunfight on the Apache Kid and his fight with Al Seiber at San Carlos. Called Phyllis De Garza this morning and had a nice talk with her. She is the most knowledgeable Apache Kid expert and in fact wrote a biography on him several years ago. She gave me the name of a gentleman in Tucson who has tracked down the exact spot where the Kid, and other Apache prisoners, escaped as as they were being taken to Casa Grande for shipment to the Yuma Territorial Prison. The attack happened at a place called Kelvin Grade, west of Winkleman, Arizona. I have to go there and see it. Supposed to be rugged territory. May have to hike in. Don’t tell anyone, but this is the part of the job I would do for free. Actually I would pay big time money to do it. Wait, I did pay big time money to do it ($350,000 and counting). Ha.

I guess by now you know the theme of this entire blog?

“What you are thunders so that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson