Pump House Skulker, Seinfeld 1850 and The Iliza Shlesinger World Tour

 September 30, 2023

   A Facebook website called The Black Wax Cafe posted this incredible montage of what the cast of Seinfeld would look like in 1850 and it is magnificent. So perfectly dead on. Just enough of a resemblance but not forced. I want to give someone credit on this because it is THAT good!

The cast of Seinfeld, 1850

My worst fear is that this is AI at work and if it is, game over. Speaking of crying over spilt milk.

Daily Whip Out: "The Cry Baby"

Late Nite Maniacs! 

   We did something totally crazy last night and drove into the Beast—after dark—to attend a stand up comedy show at the Arizona Federal Theater.

BBB enjoying a $30 margarita with his honey

before the show. He ended up having two, so $60 worth of margaritas in two glasses.

   The show started at 8:30 (at night!) and we got back to the parking garage at ten and then we had an hour ride home. We haven't been up this late since Reagan was in the White House, or, so it seemed at the time. But it was worth it to see this totally outrageous woman:

Ilisa Shlesinger on her

Hard Feelings World Tour

   She bills herself as the "Elder Millennial" and she did an extended bit on the supposed rift between Gen Xers and Millennials. At one point she asked if there were any Boomers in the house and we let out a weak roar with about 12 other ticket buyers scattered throughout the approximately 7,000 seat arena. Hard to believe how marginalized that feels, but there you go. We are now in the minority at a venue we practically invented.

Find Uno

   He hides, he skulks around the pump house. Can you spot him?

Pump House Skulker

   It's been awhile, but this puppy sold out quickly.

Sold Out!

   I think it's time for a reprint and Volume Two. Watch for it. Why? Take it from this old fart:

"Tell the old stories for our modern times."

—Homer (The Greek guy, not the Simpson)

The Number One Museum In The Country and How Not To Take All of This Seriously

 September 29, 2023

   Had an excellent evening last night down in Scottsdale at the number one museum in the country.

Opening night of the Werner Segarra

Vaqueros of Sonora Show. 

   The executive director of the Scottsdale Museum of the West gave his opening remarks and praised their ranking in True West magazine.

Todd Bankofier: "We're No. 1!"

   The museum set up tequila and bacanora stations on the patio and that was a giant hit with me and Kathy Sue, proving, at least to me, that the ranking was correct.

Where Exactly Are We Going?

   Let's take a good look at the back trail.

"The Sentinel"

1905, by Carpenter

A Voice to Our Past

   Our publisher, Ken Amorosano, asked me the other day if True West had a voice and I thought about it and I think this pretty much nails it for me: 

   For the past seven decades we have been having a very lively conversation with our readers about the American frontier and we come to the debate armed with three things: authenticity, honesty and levity. Our writers are passionate about our history and they have the scholarship and authenticity to back it up. We are honest when we make mistakes, or get it wrong. And, besides the search for true history, the only other thing we take seriously, is to not take ourselves too seriously. We believe if we're not laughing at ourselves a bit, we are not being authentic or honest.

   End of vision quest sermon.

The Government's Anti-Possessive Quest

   I stumbled into the Fool's Hollow Lake vs. Fools Hollow Lake controversy last week on our return from Greer. Apparently, the State (both the federal government and the actual State of Arizona) are hell bent on removing possessives from all pertinent signs. And, as it turns out this is a wider controversy than I thought, because here is a revision on next month's Classic Gunfight on Isom Dart (whose real name was not Isom, but Isam, among other corrections, see vision statement above):

Brown's Park or Browns Park?

   "The government powers dropped the apostrophe some time ago. We Brown's Park historians keep the original spelling as Elizabeth Bassett used when she named the park."

—Linda Womack

An Early Warning Sign

"I'm a bit of a history buff, which by the way is early onset Republican. That's a very serious warning sign. If you're a white dude in your early twenties and thirties and you're like 'I can't stop reading about World War II' it's coming, bro. You might not be a Republican right now. You might be young, cool and liberal. You probably think you're safe, dude, you're not. It doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. Do you think your dad wanted to be a Republican? Do you think he got out of high school and was like, 'All right, now it's time to be a prick about everything! No, it takes time." 

—Shane Gillis

The Hired Hand: Tacos de Bell Hencho Con Pliers

 September 28, 2023

   When I was in college I was somewhat infamous around Park Lee Apartments in Tucson because I made tacos with a pair of pliers. I have since graduated to a spatula, but the experience worked good for me today.

The Hired Hand

   It was Kathy's turn to host her Book Club and she wanted to serve tacos and, well, my name is Bell, and I had the whole plier thing on my resume, so I offered up my services and kicked off the set with a shot of Bacanora to start things off. Because of this Sonoran trick, no one complained about the taco Bells.

A Book Club Bacanora Toast

   No pliers were used in the making of these tacos.

"To hell with Taco Tuesday!"

—Old Vaquero Saying

Old School Craftsmanship, New Hand Made Belt

 September 27, 2023

   Here's a beaded-belt flashback: Kathy and I took a road trip to stay in Maynard Dixon's cabin in Mount Carmel, Utah six years ago. On the drive there we stopped outside Page, Arizona to visit legendary Antelope Canyon and while standing in line waiting to descend into the depths of the slot canyon, a Navajo guide, and another guide, tapped me on the shoulder.

Tear Drop Couple

   They wanted to know where I got the belt I am wearing in the photo, above (taken by a Navajo guide named Natasha). This is kind of crazy because if you have spent any time around Navajos you know they are somewhat shy people and reticent to talk to, well, you know. Anyway, I told them both the belt I was wearing was purchased in Santa Fe, next door to the Due West Art Gallery on San Francisco Street where I wore it to the big art opening on April 4, 2011.

The Bang Gang: Thom Ross, BBB and Buckeye Blake at Due West Art Gallery in Santa Fe.

(photo by Lucinda Amorosano)

   The reason the Navajos were so interested in the belt was because of the nifty, old school, bead work.

   Well, that is the backstory and I must say it is my favorite belt and it has lasted for 22 years and recently, it has been seriously falling apart and I have been holding it together with duck tape and bailing wire. Not really, but you get the idea.

   So, Kathy Sue (the girl in the slot canyon, above) suggested I take it to the saddle repair shop in Carefree. I said, "There's a saddle repair shop in Carefree?" I have lived out here for 36 years and never knew. She assured me there was, so today I dropped in and met this guy.

Gabriel at Easy Street Shoe & Watch Repair

in Cave Creek, Arizona

   It took Gabriel about twenty minutes (he took it in the back and I waited in the main room and I heard him with the stitching needle and a hammer. He told me he broke two needles stitching it back into shape!) This is so cool and so old school. Here's a close-up on that stitching the Navajos were so interested in:

Hand-stiched Belt Made New By Gabriel

"The only new thing in this world, is the history you don't know."

—Harry Truman

Uno Ignores Speed Limit Sign And Poses Graciously for O.K. Boomer

 September 27, 2023

   Finally cool enough in the mornings to wear a long sleeved shirt on our walks! On the way back from Morningstar, I ran across this little snub. 

Uno Ignores Speed Limit Sign. 

   I don't want to put words in his mouth but that look says "Fifteen My Ass!" pretty blatantly.

   Took another swing at my mother's high school graduation photo.

Bobbie Guess Portrait #2

O.K. Boomers

   Our production manager, Robert Ray, picked up on the title of my October editorial in True West and thought it might make a nifty logo for our production company.

Daily Whip Outs:

"Variations On An O.K. Theme"

   So, I sent these sketches down to Dan the Man and we'll see what he comes up with.

Uno In Spanish Light. 

   Not exactly sure why that title came to me, since this is a budding citrus, but there you go. Also, I have to give props to the boy, because he is so paitent with me when I point and tell him to sit. He knows the drill and he has such patience, but more than that. . .

"It's hard not to immediately fall in love with a dog who has a good sense of humor."

—Kate DiCamillo, "Because of Winn-Dixie"

Is It Fools Hollow Lake or Fool Hollow Lake?

 September 25, 2023

   Here is another take on the founding father of Fools Hollow Lake:

Daily Revised Whip Out:

"Thomas Jefferson Adair, Take 2"

   Kathy and I both noticed that it's spelled Fool Hollow Lake on some signs and Fools Hollow Lake on other signs. Someone on Facebook claims the State of Arizona is trying make it singular, perhaps to avoid the possessive problem of Fool's, or maybe just to be dicks. Do you know? 

  I love small town museums. On a limited budget they put their hearts and souls into portraying their town as best they can. I visited the Springerville, Arizona museum on Thursday.

A Springerville, Arizona museum display

   I don't mean this in a mean way, but why is this so boring? Where do they get the idea someone wants to see a replica of a Montgomery Wards 1900s living room with semi-accurate furniture and JC Penny mannequins dressed in quasi-authentic lace?

   I feel bad for them because someone obviously put in the time and effort, but at the end of the day, it rarely works as a satisfying display in terms of putting me in that place and time. Why is that?

   One answer is, we want to see something real and authentic, you know, like this:

Say Hey, Alchesay!

   One very cool thing in the Springerville Museum is this framed photo of Alchesay, the White Mountain Apache Chief, who had business dealings with a local who built the Apache Hotel and this framed image was displayed in the lobby for many years.

White Mountain Apache Chief Alchesay

   This is double cool, because the image is large and the story behind it is valuable to understand the location and it is very historic.

Meanwhile. . .

Stiff 1950s Cowboy mannequin around

a very fake campfire

   Once again, my biggest issue is with the fifties clothing. That would be the 1950s. Where is an authentic 1880's saddle? Or other gear, chaps maybe? Spurs? Anything!

File This One Under When All You Have Is A Hammer All Your Problems Look Like Nails:

   Okay, what I want to see is big historic, well-scanned photos of the people and the places I am visiting. I want to get a sense of what life was like in the Old West. But then, it must be said, I run a magazine and that's our mantra: run big photos with historic info with them. Does that translate to a museum? I don't know. What do you think?

   So, the effort is worthwhile, but perhaps it needs a retooling to make it so visitors can appreciate and understand the history of the area a little bit better.

"If you don't know history, then you don't know anything. You are a leaf that doesn't know it is part of a tree."

—Michael Chrichton

Being Clear About The Past

 September 24, 2023

   Never thought I'd make it home, but after eight days on the road I am glad to be here.

A new level of Ride Hitching

   Saw quite a few White Mountain Apaches last week and I must say they certainly have a beautiful reservation homeland.

Daily Whip Outs: "Apaches And The Number 4"

   A happy customer sends me a handwritten letter.

   He is certainly right about one thing: Carole Glenn is the best!

"Whatever age you are today, your future self would love to be it. Most people do not consider 65 to be a young age, but when you're 75, you'd love to rewind to 65 and regain those years. Few people would describe 35 as your youth, but in your mid-50s your mid-30s will seem like the 'young you.' Today is a great opportunity, no matter your age. Looking back in a few years, today will seem like the time when you were young and full of potential or the moment when you could have started early or the turning point when you made a choice that benefited your future. The moment in front of you right now is a good one. Make the most of it."

—James Clear

The Biggest Fool at Fools Hollow

 September 23, 2023

   In 1879, Thomas Jefferson Adair moved to northern Arizona Territory and started a farm near an unnamed lake. 

Daily Whip out: "Thomas Jefferson Adair"

   The locals laughed at him and said only a fool would try and farm there and so it became known as Fools Hollow Lake just north of present day Show Low, Arizona. 

   We had a fine picnic there on Friday on the way home from Greer and as soon as we walked down to the water, Uno jumped right in. 

Fools And Labs Rush In

   Kathy dared me to join him but I told her my foolish days are over, for the most part. Although I must admit in the past few years I have realized how often I played the fool—especially growing up—and didn't even reailize it.

   And, speaking of fools:

The Fool Has Given Us So Many Songs

   "Many people do foolish things that are uncharacteristic of them. Maybe one small step in poor judgement can lead to a bad end. But we wouldn't call these people fools if they hadn't lived their life as one.

   "Ricky Nelson was no fool, he didn't walk around with no socks or feathers in his hair, he had all the right cards. high trump, low trump and all the picture cards. A ballad rockabilly singer with innocence and naivete on the surface, but a great depth beneath. Always at the forefront of new beginnings, improvising his place in the universe. You always knew what to expect.

   "There's lots of songs about fools. Aretha contemplates her place in a chain of fools, Hank Snow wonders how often there is a fool such as he, Paul McCartney contemplates one on the hill, Bobby Bland pities another while the Main Ingredient knows everybody plays one sometimes. The list goes on and on. Frankie Lymon wants to know why they fall in love, Jerry Garcia sang about a ship full of them, Elvis sang about the propensity to rush in where angels fear to tread and Anthony Newley didn't even know what kind of fool he was. And Ricky Nelson took his tuneful bit of self-realization, 'Poor Little Fool' to the top of Billboard's newly created Hot 100 in 1958."

—Bob Dylan, "The Philosophy of Modern Song"

"Well, I'd played this game with other hearts
But I never thought I'd see
The day when someone else would play
Love's foolish game with me
Poor little fool, oh yeah
I was a fool, uh huh"

—Ricky Nelson, "Poor Little Fool"

History Holiday And The Deer In Greer

 September 21, 2023

   Still yucking it up on day six, in the high country. Saw this critter, yesterday.

The Deer in Greer Have Some

Well-founded Fear

Dear Deer, 

   Stay close to town during hunting season.

Say Hey Alchisay

  This framed photograph is on priminent display at the Springerville Musuem. It hung in the lobby of the Apache Hotel for many years because the owner and Alchesay were friends.

   After the museum we visited Aliberto's for lunch in Eager.

Dine In, Or Out. We Chose Out

“A visit to a museum is a search for beauty, truth, and meaning in our lives. Go to museums as often as you can.”

– Maira Kalman

A Four Star Dog and A Five Star Hoodie On The Road In Greer

 September 20, 2023

   I apparently have a thing for used sweatshirts. I bought a Five Star Hoodie in northern California back in 2013 and I'm still wearing it. Here's another road trip picture from ten years ago featuring my fave, second-hand hoodie:

Thomas Charles & His Padre

at Amado, AZ, 2013

   And, here's the same sweatshirt today on the Loop Trail to Sheep's Crossing in Greer.

Four Star Dog and Five Star Hoodie

Post Pandemic Ponderings

   It's good to hit the road and see what's going on out in the backroads country, but the mind blower, to me, is the lack of service help in all the restaurants. "The dining room is full, sir," the hostess said the other night. Well, no it isn't. I can see that half the tables are empty, but you apparently don't have enough staff? Our cabin neighbors brought a half cord of wood and wanted to start a fire in the firepit and they asked us for matches and we don't have any and there isn't anything in the cabin.  Nobody else in the compound had matches. She looked at me pleadingly. So I piled Kathy and Uno in the Flex and we drove to the nearest restaurant in Greer (there's maybe three, tops) and they didn't have ANY matches. None in the bar, none in the dining room, none by the fireplace! Crazy. So I drove to the second place and there are none at the hostess stand (imagine!?) and I went into the bar and asked the bartender, who is besieged with customers because she's doing the entire room, including the bar and all the table tops and she says "Yes, I have matches. I'll be right back," and I see her walk past the bar and into a corridor adjacent to the bar and she reaches up on a top shelf—way in the back—and retrieves a small book of matches which I paid her $2 for.

   It's a crazy world you kids got going here.

   In the New Yorker (Sept. 18) there is this article about this young woman, Emily Wilson, who is retranslating Homer (The Iliad not the Simpson) for her generation. One of the themes is that all the tropes from Homer's time still stand. We are all in a brotherhood of nomads yearning for the homecoming, which is the crowning of a hero's journey.

Arizona Inspection Station, 1946

screen shot from "The Grapes of Wrath"

"Tell the old stories for our modern times."

—Homer

The Lone Cabin That Survived The Fire And Dan The Man's Jugs Iced Free Cap

 September 19, 2023

   Our Hellraisers history talk at the Butterfly Museum in Greer last Saturday was a roaring success and some of that success no doubt came from this zany, roadside teaser.

When Bommersbach Won't Fit On One Line

Jugs Iced Free Headgear

   In case you didn't know, I used to ice jugs for a living. Actually "living" is a tad strong, I was only 12 and worked in my dad's gas station for tips. And I was on the scene in 1959 when Hollywood showed up in Kingman to film a movie using my dad's gas station, among other local businesses.

Cornel Wilde exits Route 66 and drives into the outside lanes of Al Bell's Flying A in a scene from "Edge of Eternity"

   So, out of the blue, Dan The Man came up with this cap design.

   I think I have to have one. Thanks Dan!

   Meanwhile, me and Uno have gotten the morning walk routine down in Greer.

Uno & The Dead Tree Meadow

   And, I am intrigued by the lone cabin on the hillside that survived a terrible fire that raged through here several years ago.

The Lone Cabin That Survived

The Fire & The Dog Who Doesn't Care

   Not sure how that cabin survived the carnage, but it did.

The Hand Me Down 

   Ten years ago this October we attended a wedding in northern California and while there I bought a used sweatshirt in a thrift store to ward off the cool nights. I underestimated how cool it was going to be on the Pacific coastal area. Here I am wearing that sweatshirt while holding my grandson Weston in a small farming town west of Yreka.

Grandpa Ha ha and his grandson Weston

   And, here I am today, in Greer, wearing the same, used sweatshirt.

The Greer Sneer

   Is it because I am a cheapskate? Or, is it because I am sentimental? Or is it just soft and endearing to me?

"Human beings have a strong, dramatic instinct toward binary thinking, a basic urge to divide things into two distinct groups, with nothing but an empty gap in between. We love to dichotomize, good versus bad, heroes versus villians. My country versus the rest. Dividing the world into two distinct sides is simple and intuitive, and also dramatic because it implies conflict, and we do it without thinking, all the time."

—Hans Rosling

Snoozers In The High Country Shredding In Issequah

 September 18, 2023

   A Bridge Over Troubled Water. 

Uno Ignores Stormcloud

   Uno on a walking bridge over the Little Colorado River just before that rain cloud dumped a truckload of rain on Greer yesterday afternoon. I know where heaven is, it's just above the trees. Charlie Daniels said that in one of my favorite tunes. 

  Hanging out in Greer. Lots of time to do this.

Snoozing Loungers

      Meanwhile in Issequah, Washington. . .

Weston Riding High

   My grandson, Weston, shredding the air and impressing every teenager in the immediate area.

"Ridin' Down The Canyon" Aftermath

 In 1934 a prescient movie producer, Nat Levine of Mascot Films wanted to make musical westerns. He contacted Gene Autry who was a major cowboy singing Star on WLS radio in Chicago. He invited Gene to Hollywood to see about using him in a movie. Gene drove from Chicago in his new Buick with his wife and Smiley Burnette who was a member (played accordion) of Gene’s band. They traveled on Route 66 to Flagstaff then turned south on 89  through Oak Creek Canyon to 60 and Hollywood! Smiley, inspired by Oak Creek Canyon wrote ‘Riding Down the Canyon ‘ before they reached Prescott. They recorded it later that year and it became a popular number for cowboy/western singers everywhere. I know that I, as a member of the Duct Tape Cowboys, sang it regularly. Smiley wrote dozens of songs for Gene and Autry himself was a prolific songwriter. Smiley co-starred in countless Autry movies as well as Roy Rogers films. You might remember him as featured years later on TV in Petticoat Junction. The first time I ever went to Flagstaff from Yuma was maybe 1956. We went to and from via Oak Creek Canyon. Interstate 17 was far off in the future.

—Greg Scott, who also sent the following poem to go with the theme of Uno prancing in the pines.

BIG PINES
Big pines far up against the blue
Always hobnobbing against the sky,
Patrician vegetables you.
Your pedigree is old and high-
Or old and deep; for you must know
Of your ancestors’ bones that lie
Deep in the coal dark measures. Oh
Your family is old and proud,
You green aristocrats! You grow
On hills, and talk to star and cloud,
Or guard the white throne of the peak,
While down the darkling gulches crowd
The birches and aspens low and meek,
To elbow for the light and air
And gossip with the prattling creek
Their tribe is yesterday’s affair
Compared with yours. And what is mine?
 A mushroom! Saber tooth and bear
Whetted their claws upon a pine
When man, through many a slow relay,
Was yet a-coming. High and fine,
With wind harps in your arms you play
The tunes first crooned when earth was new,
And loaf in your lordly way,
Big pines far up against the blue.

—Badger Clark

BBB Unplugged

 September 16, 2023

   Ah, to be cold and wearing a sweatshirt. That is the delight of the season. And part of the charm of the White Mountains. 49 degrees out this morning. Need I say more?

The Pinetop Poser

   Jana Bommersbach and I had a speech in Greer on Saturday, so Kathy and I and Uno drove up on Friday and spent the night in Pinetop at Northwoods Cabins, where we stayed once upon a time, a long time ago.

The Honeymooners

   The last time we stayed here was on July 28, 1979 on our honeymoon,

   Our talk at the Butterfly Museum in Greer went well. A record crowd and we sold every book we brought. Jana, Kathy and I had a celebratory dinner at The Molly Butler in downtown Greer. Jana and I had the trout. Very good.

   Major vegging on my schedule. Why? I'll let Anne tell you why.

"Almost evrything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you."

—Anne Lamott

Six Degrees of Marshall Trimble

 September 14, 2023

   We are all connected. We just don't take the time to find out. The guy behind you in line at the Circle K; his grandfather killed your grandfather at the battle of Val Verde, but you'll never find that out because you just want to pay for the bag of ice and leave. 

The Ridin' Down The Canyon Connection

   I always tell the story about the drunk woman at the Moose Lodge on Wilmot Road in Tucson who kept yelling at us to play "Ridin' Down The Canyon." Roy Brown, the leader of the Roy Brown & Country Gold band, politely told the woman we didn't know the song and, of course, the woman being drunk, said, "What the hell! Everybody knows 'Ridin' Down The Canyon!" Two songs later she approached the bandstand and said in a demanding voice: "Listen, I am from an old Arizona ranching family and I want to hear 'Ridin' Down The Canyon.'" I don't know why, but I leaned forward from my drum kit and said, "Where did your family have a ranch, ma'am?" And she bellowed, "Duncan, Arizona!" and I said, "Did you know the Guess family? My mother's name was Bobbie Guess." She looked like she had seen a ghost and then she said, "I babysat your mother." On the break, I got her name, and the next day I called my mother and she confirmed the babysitting gig, adding, "We didn't like her. She was mean to us."

   Probably because my mother and her sisters didn't know "Ridin' Down The Canyon."

Daily Whip Out: "Bobbie Guess, 1939"

   Fast forward to August of 2023 and my homies, the O.K. Boomers are on Slack trying to figure out how to illustrate Marshall Trimble's wonderful story about his version of the Bobby Troup song, "Route 66" and how he always felt the lyric, "Flagstaff Arizona, don't forget Winona" was about his aunt, Winona Weston. Marshall's wife, Vanessa, sent us this photo of Winona, taken near Chloride, Arizona in the early forties.

Winona Weston Trimble

Well, that sparked a conversation about Winona being in Chloride, because, well, I have a connection to that tiny berg. Here's a photograph, taken near Chloride in 1959, of Dan The Man Harshberger plugging BBB.

Gunfight at the Chloride Corral

(Dan The Man Plugs BBB)

   And, just for ironie's sake, the above photo was taken by my mother, you know, the one from Duncan, Arizona, who moved to Mohave County during the depression and graduated from Mohave County High School in 1939.

The O.K. Boomers at work on Slack

 The O.K. Boomers are Robert Ray (second from left), Dan the Man Harshberger (yes, the bad guy plugging me in the above photo) and Stuart Rosebrook. Robert and Dan live in Phoenix, Stuart is in Prescott Valley and I live in Cave Creek. We meet once a week on Slack to try and simulate a real, in person meeting.

   So, Marshall mentions to me his aunt Winona graduated from Kingman high school and I said, what year? Turns out, my mother and Winona were in the same class! I found my mom's yearbook and there they were.

Daily Whip Out: "Winona Weston, 1939"

   Now THAT is six degrees of Marshall Trimble. And, if we weren't writing a book together we would have never made the connection.

   Here's one more connection for the road. Forty five years after the gunfight at the Chloride Corral, a kid halfway round the world sees "Young Guns" and gets hooked on the Old West.

James B. Mills Apes Emilio's Hairdo

1993

   James is going to appear in the next issue of True West along with Marshall and the O.K. Boomers. Oh, and there's one more connection, I almost forgot.

Gene and Smiley

"Ridin' down the canyon to watch the sun go down

A picture that no artist 'ere could paint

White-faced cattle lowing, on the mountainside

I hear a coyote calling for its mate."

—"Ridin' Down The Canyon" written by Gene Autry and Smiley Burnette