Mammary Glam vs. Memory Glands

 January 2, 2025

   As some of you may already know, I have always been a fan of great big American breasts. I was both a subscriber and a contributor to the most successful magazine dedicated to them in American History. Six million circ and a mansion named in the magazine's honor (built brick by brick by those big American breasts!) not to mention I knew a gaggle of girls who were dying to get in the centerfold (it paid $10,000, which is $5k per object of interest)

   I have always thought the magazine had a classy and progressive look. The design was edgy, clean and modern and, of course, like so many Boomer Boys, I subscribed for the articles!

   Imagine my horror—and amusement—when Kathy was cleaning out our son's room last weekend and found this:

"Entertainment" for Men, circa 1992

   I know what you're thinking: why haven't we cleaned Tommy's room since 1992?! In our defense, it was in a box with his college graduation picture. But wait, there's a more cultural trend at play here. Does the publication still work? Is it still entertaining? Well, the cover still holds up. Clean design and intriguing cover blurbs and excellent newsstand appeal. But, inside is a depressing crumbling ethos of misplaced liberation and downright cheesiness. Tacky ads (90% cigarette and liquor) and barely funny cartoons. They seemed so funny at the time, including mine! What the hell happened? Was it always thus?

   Short answer: yes.

   So, when did I change? Probably about the time I had a daughter—who is now 43 years old!

   And Playboy wasn't alone. We had Penthouse and Oui and Hustler and even for a short while Playgirl. All of which brings me to a bigger realization. All those magazines are gone. Passe, unnecessary and dare I say gauche. 

   I remember it being groovier than it now appears. Is this the way of all things hip?

   'Fraid so, Cocomo.

"Between New York and LA there are 200 million people who aren't hip, and don't want to be hip."

—Jeff Foxworthy