The Authenticity of Swearing On The Worthless Jackwagon Frontier

 July 6, 2026

   I swear this topic never gets old: Cussing in the Old West. And, I must admit, the discussion of it really upsets some of my Kingman kin.

"That's Gross And Repugnant!"

   Here are a couple of takes on this damned phenomenon from a couple of my quasi-bastard friends:

You Don’t Say
Profanity in the Old West

By Chris Enss

   In the 1800s, it wasn’t uncommon to hear pioneers and miners from Deadwood, South Dakota, to San Francisco, California, swearing in paragraphs. Indeed some historical accounts note the air was cloudy with cursing in such wild and uncivilized locations like Denver, Colorado, and Tombstone, Arizona. Even so, citizens in Washington, D.C. were “more prevalent in swearing than in any other place in America," reported the Bedford Indiana Democrat on December 6, 1915.

   Laws against swearing originated in the nation’s capital in the mid-1850s and were strictly enforced. “Money was at one time raised by the state by imposing finances on those given to the habit of foul language,” the Bedford Indiana Democrat noted. “It is also thought that men who swear habitually are unfit to be in command of other men or themselves,” the newspaper further reported, referencing officers in the Civil War and the Plains Indian Wars.

   Popular ministers of the time preached that the objectionable habit of swearing originated from the profane use of bywords. “The tradition of a byword, which may be perfectly harmless, to profanity is not a very large transition,” Rev. De Witt Talmage told parishioners at a church in Oak Park, Illinois, in 1888. “Bywords such as 'My, stars,' 'Mercy on me' and 'Good gracious' work for a little while, and then you swear,” the Reverend added.

   Swearing, which included oaths and obscenities, was not limited to grown men. Women of all ages and children cursed too. “The profanity from young and old alike, which many are forced to listen to, is a nuisance,” reported Wisconsin's Dodge County Citizen on October 13, 1859. Loud blasphemous rants from soiled doves and teenage boys was heard so often in the gold camps in and around Sutter’s Fort in California that ministers petitioned law enforcement to intervene. Judicial officers must have been complaining as well, because California eventually drafted a law that prohibited cursing in the presence of a Justice of the Peace, reported the Daily Alta California on December 3, 1858.

   America's politicians argued that laws against swearing were ridiculous, but others insisted “there must be the appearance of virtue no matter how common the vice.”

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I once worked with an APS (Arizona Public Service) crew chief, Ralph Tisdale, who was a former Texas cowboy and his favorite saying was "Heiffer Dust" (a derivative of baby BS?) which I borrowed and mangled and gave to my comic book character, Granthum P. Hooker, aka The Doper Roper, as "Heffer Dust!"

   And, here is a list I made, from memory, of all the ridiculous replacement words Westerners have created to avoid being flippin' blasphemous. 

Creative Replacements for Actual Swearing
• Jumpin' jehosaphat!

• Road apples, also horse apples, to describe horse manure on the highway

• Tarrnation, usually preceeded by What in the. . .

• Dadbernit, also Dadgummit and Gol-dernit

• Heck! as in What the heck!

• Durn persnickety female! A pure Gabby Hayes-ism

• Yessiree, Bob (not really a swear dodge but used by smart arses everywhere

• Smart Alec!

• Oh, fudge!

• Jackwagon, as in, "You worthless Jackwagon!"

• Sidewindin' as in You sidewindin', bushwackin' Hornswaggler

• (by) Thunder!

• Carnsarnit!

• Whippersnapper, as in "You young whippersnappers!"

• Durn! as in "Yer durn tootin'!"

• Dang it all!

• Sufferin Succatash! Okay, this is the signature saying of Sylvester the cartoon character, but it's allegedly a dodge from "Suffering Savior," which is taking the Lord's name in vain pretty seriously

• Heifer Dust! (see above)

• Hell's Bells! (dang close to swearing and we wouldn't recommend using it in church)

• Sonoma Beach! (a very clever dodge on S.O.B. and a personal favorite)

• What in the Sam Hill! (my grandmother Minnie's favorite oath)

“I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.”
― Mel Brooks