August 5, 2026
As some of you know, I have a bastard second cousin who I rarely talk about. Basically, he is everything I am not and we do not get along. At all. Recently I saw one of his postings (literally a xeroxed flyer—glued to cardboard—and held in place with nails) on the community bulletin board at the Hackberry post office and this is what it said:
The Stud Hoss Historian
Will now take your questions:
"What can you tell me about your family connections to The Wild Bunch?"
—K. Johnson, Butlerville
BBB: "Oh, please. Like you really care. If I need any crap from you, I'll squeeze your head."
"I notice you use 'El Chivato' in your articles on Billy the Kid, but some now challenge that and insist it's actually 'El Chavito.' What do you have to say to those people?"
—Boxlip Darrell, Logasville
BBB: "If I see you on the street, I will kill you."
"Any truth to the rumor that Glenn Boyer once caught you in a goat pasture?"
BBB: "That is a groundless lie, but let the record show I am still quite fond of that goat."
"Some people over here claim you were criticizing Janelle Moloney about calling herself the 'Hottie Historian' and you tried to lamely compare it to calling yourself 'The Stud Hoss Historian.' Admit it, isn't that where this all came from?"
—James B. Mills, Australia
BBB: "You sure know a lot for being so damn dumb!"
"Okay, some of this I made up."
—BBB
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