Tuesday, May 30, 2006

May 30, 2006
Brad and Carole Radina, and their kids, E.J. and Mercedes came out for a pool party on Sunday. T. Charles and Frank, a pal from New Jersey, were also there. We played pool volleyball and right after we got started, Buddy Boze Hatkiller pulled one of the dumbest stunts I have ever witnessed.

First off, I have to say I don’t like it when Deena and Kathy denigrate his intelligence. Deena does this mini-comedy routine where she looks at Buddy and says, “What’s going on in your sweet little head, Buddy?” And when he looks at her blankly, turning his head slightly, Deena goes, “Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,” as in, there’s an empty brain. “Stop that!” I protested more than once, scolding my mean offspring. “He’s family and I don’t want you talking about a family member that way, at least not to his face.”

To their credit, both women have been very good to not make fun of the NYC dog’s IQ (at least when I’m around). So on Sunday, while we’re splashing and playing, Buddy walks around the edge of the pool and comes to an impasse. The net is stretched to a portable pole that rests up against the retaining wall. He can’t quite understand why he can’t go through this area (“Hey, I went right by here yesterday!”). Right in the middle of a volley, we hear E.J. calling for help. We stop playing and look over to see Buddy pushing through the net, or trying to, and his nose is poked through one of the small openings and his right paw is hung up on another square and he’s blindly, and stupidly I might add, trying to push his way through the net. With the help of Tomas, E.J. and Brad, Buddy is extracted from his web of twine and lumbers off in the direction he wanted to go.

The girls look at me, I look at them and go: “Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. That is the dumbest move I have seen in a year and a half.”

Another True West Moment
“Was Doc Holliday as fast with a gun as he is portrayed in Western movies?”
—Joseph Landry, Lafayette, Louisiana

Yes, Wyatt Earp claimed, late in life, that Doc was the fastest he knew, however, we have to remember that "fast" at that time period did not mean the fast of the 1950s when it became a sport and steel clips were inserted into low slung holsters to help facilitate faster and faster millisecond draws. While Earp basically meant what he said, I think he also meant that Doc was quick at getting ready to fight and would fight without a hesitation. With that said, Doc was a horrible shot, missing two different opponents—Milt Joyce and Billy Allen—at close range (five to ten feet away). The "Deadly Dentist" was more scary than proficient, because he wanted to die, or as they said in his day, he "was willin'".

Three Favorite Onion Headlines de Jour
Amazon’s 1-Click Bankrupts Area Parkinson’s Sufferer

Grease Fire Rages Through Midwest

Jessica Alba Saving Money For When Audience Turns On Her

“A day is a miniature eternity.”
—Old Vaquero Saying

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