Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Crazy Headlines Over The English Channel

April 16, 2013
   After getting bumped off my British Airlines connection in Heathrow and a fitful night at a "free" hotel, I managed to catch a cab with a fellow bumpee, a sweetheart of a lady from Brazil, and managed to get through security by 5:20 and onto an Iberian flight to Madrid at 6:20 in the morning.

   It was a packed plane (turns out everyone was going to attend Semana Santa in Sevilla, which was my destination as well, thus the real reason for the bump off the previous flight). I was quite nervous about getting bumped again and quite relieved when the plane pulled away from the gate with me still on the plane. Now I knew—on a smaller scale—how those Canadians felt in Argo!

   Anyway, as soon as we got airborne out came the newspapers and I sketched this scene of the morning commuters sitting across the aisle from me, reading a variety of British newspapers. As a Print Guy I was fascinated to study their reading habits and see what headlines or articles got their attention.

I started writing down some of the headlines I could read from across the aisle: "My Adoptive Dad Abused Me For Years But Social Services Ignored My Complaints Because He's Gay." Yes, this is an actual headline in a Brit newspaper. It gets better: "Forgive Me, But There's Nothing David Granger Can Teach Me About Hating Your Brother." I'm not even sure that works as a headline or a sentence, but it sure got the attention of my aisle compadres.

Here's a convoluted, and quite sensational, header atop a grainy, store surveillance photo of a fat guy buying beer: "Calmly Stocking Up On Beer, 'Monster' Son Just Hours After Executing His Loving Mother."

Some were straight ahead: "How I Gave Adele Her Voice Back." and "Judge Warns Crooks After Romanian Gang Came to Britain To Steal." Oh, and "The BBC Is Up The Creek." But, then it was back to a very odd zane: "Charity? That's A Bit Rich, David!" and, finally: "Desperate Or Daft—Why Would Any Woman Log On To Find A Sugar Daddy?"

"How do you capture a memory, or a feeling? I don't know, but that's my job."