October 13, 2004
I watched the last presidential debate tonight, which was in Tempe (about 28 miles from here) at Arizona State University, and of course everyone in our state is quite proud. Someone at The Arizona Republic asked me to jot down my random thoughts while the debate was going on and this is what I wrote:

Oh, I’m really digging this. Every Zonie is beaming tonight. Waozaaa. You got both presidential candidates standing on a stage at a second rate Arizona school (okay, so I attended U of A), and quoting long, meaningless statistics on Arizona, about, ah, something, but they’re actually using the word Arizona in a sentence like it means something and we've never had that before. Now we're in the middle of it and, "Wow! They're both really on their game, they're both in the zone. Great point, he can't possibly refute that," and then, each time they pound it right back and it’s like two tennis pros standing at the net hitting overhead slams and the other guy actually returns the slam right in his face. Now we’re in the bottom of the ninth, with two out and Bush pulls off the biggest laugh with his listening to women zinger, and now we're in the two minute warning, or at least at the warning track area and I'm thinking, "There's no freaking way Kerry is going to top that, because he has a minus five sense of humor batting average" but then Glum Man reaches wayyyyy down inside, rolls out of the pocket and rears back, with his nose straight up in the air and comes out with the "We both married up. . ." and it's Michael Jordan taking off from the free throw line, and "Some of us really married up." Shazaaaaam! Gin! Bingo! What a slugfest! This is what makes America great. Mashed metaphors and mucho sports analogies that make no sense. I loved it, BAY-BEE! A home run for Arizona, a Texas Leaguer for the President and a Boston Fish Fry for Kerry. Okay, I'm done.

Hmmmm, that's funny. It doesn’t read very well, but while it was happening, I really felt on fire. I'll tell you what, bottom line: whoever we get, we deserve him.

"I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens."
—Dwight D. Eisenhower