March 8, 2009
Almost every week I write something for the Arizona Republic in their Plugged In editorial section. Here's today's comment:

I can't believe a downtown group paid some ad firm $160,000 to come up with an image-makeover slogan for Phoenix—"Arizona's Urban Heart." Are you kidding me? That's just a fancy way of saying, "We finally have an urban mess like the rest of you." Vegas has a great slogan: "What happens here, stays here." With that in mind, here are three more accurate brands, totally free:

• "If it's happenin', we eventually get it."

• "Light rail, heavy mental."

• "Phoenix: Rising from the ashes like molasses."

End of comments. Staff writer E.J. Montini also had a column about this ridiculously weak slogan. E.J. mentioned two slogans from other locales that I loved:

• "New Jersey: You Got A Problem With That?"

• "Miami: You May Not Get Shot."

This last one was written by Dave Barry, of course. Brilliant. I think the best one I've heard, since this hit the papers is one I assume E.J. thought up:

"Phoenix: Chill."