April 16, 2023
There's two things you need to know about today's blog post. The first is, there really was an outlaw in the real Wild West who was nicknamed "Bad Bladder" Allen, and the second is, when grandfathers hang out with their 9-year-old grandsons for a couple days, the older of the two tends to gravitate his sense of humor towards the Commons Area, also known as the Pee Pee Zone.
The Outlaw Who Had Pee Pee Tendencies
Bad Bladder Allen had to pee all the time and ruined several holdups because he "had to go." Oh, and he made everyone in the gang wear matching bowties! And he wouldn't let anyone in the gang swear. They had to say, "Well, that really urinates me off!" Too bad he got run over by a train while urinating on the tracks with his back turned. Turned out he peed so loud he couldn't hear the train.
I sent this valuable information to Weston Allen via his mother and according to same said woman, he howled with laughter and asked if there really was an outlaw called Bad Bladder Allen and his mother said, "Of course not. Grandpa Ha Ha is just being silly." Well, I had to send my daughter the following reply:
Oh, ye offspring of little faith. If you own a copy of my book "Bad Men" (1999) you will find on page 32 a listing of all the outlaws who made the newspapers and had wonky, ridiculous nicknames. The long list includes, Dirty Sock Jack, Club Foot Lane, Acorn Head Jones, Bean Belly Smith, Cold Chuck Johnny, Cornhole Johnny (no relation), and Bloody Dick Seymour, to name just a few. And, yes, Bad Bladder Allen.
"When you gotta go, you gotta go."
—Bad Bladder Allen on his deathbed