July 11, 2006 Bonus Blog
I’ve received some interesting feedback from my July 9 posting on Empire Falls. Here’s my favorite:

“Bob... please...One little low-rated television show opening is deserving of starting a political war against non-Christians? God (ahem) forbid we don't all walk lock-step with the religious Right, lest we offend their delicate sensibilities. Christianity dominates our culture and politics more than anything save capitalism, and even there the two fiercely compete (think ‘Christmas,’ source of another phony ‘war.’)

“Not a Christian? You'll never get elected, you're only one step above the homeless boyfriend with the in-laws, and every major event in your life (weddings and funerals) you'll wonder ‘who scheduled a revival meetin'?’

“My guess is you don't blink an eye when good-hearted folks tell you with a straight face they'll be praying for your soul, because you're such a great guy and it would be sad to see your damned soul burn in fiery Hell for all eternity, all due to your ignorant lack of understanding that without Him your ass is sin-flavored barbeque. Probably even genuinely smile. So when someone actually has the balls to poke fun the other way, I think the beleaguered Christian way of life might just be strong enough to take it.”
—Dale (non-theist) in Mesa

Dale,
Yes, it’s true, I’ll never get elected—thank God! (Get it?), and yes, my in-laws already think of me as one step above homeless (I’m a publisher!) and, yes, the last funeral I went to was quite oppressive in a Baptist kind of way. And yes, I don’t blink an eye when my mother prays for me, although she has never used the “sin-flavored barbeque” metaphor. That said, I love humor and humor in religion. Do you know why Baptists don't believe in pre-marital sex? They're afraid it might lead to dancing. I believe the Danish Muslim cartoons should be required reading in the Middle East, I love Amy Silverman's take on her mixed relationship with Jimmy Kimmel (Catholic): "I'll just tell our kids Mommie's one of the Chosen People and daddy believes Jesus is magic." And I love George Carlin's stuff on religion (“Save the car fare, you’ve already sinned!”) What I don't like, is trash talking revisionist history-garbling screenwriters who malign our rich heritage and pass it off as real history. And it's so one sided. Imagine if the writer of Empire Falls had slammed Judaism (“and other diseases from the Middle East”? Paleeze!) or Allah forbid, you know who, the guy would never land another gig in mainstream media. I'm just commenting on how everyone beats up on Christians for organizing and trying to defend themselves like it's some scary plot to take over the world, when it's really people of faith banding together. That's all.
—Bob Blessed Bell

"God's humor is too rough for human ears."
—Old Vaquero Saying