January 9, 2008
Typing with a sore right hand. File this one under:

BITCHES GONE WILD!!
Went for my daily bike ride at about 7:30. Beautiful day, nippy and damp, but not too cold. On the way back down the road I saw Nikki and Amy, two neighborhood bitches hanging around the Ratcliff driveway. Peaches really hates Amy, but she normally is a coward and runs through cholla patches to avoid running into her face to face. When we got closer, I saw Peaches run through a rain puddle to get away as Amy came out to challenge her. Peaches cut across Muffy's property, then came back out on the road with Amy giving chase. After about a twenty yard run, Peaches stopped, turned and went right for Amy's throat, throwing her down with a choke hold and ripping back and forth like a, well, a wild dog. I came up on the bike brandishing my usual weapon of choice, the big, loud, "Hey! Hey! Hey!"

No one listened, and now Buddy runs in, "Hey, let's play!" and Nikki comes in as well, I don't want to reach in there because I just know I'll get bit, so I ram my bike tire at Peaches' mouth, attempting to dislodge Peaches, but Amy bites my front tire and it immediately goes flat (that should have been clue number one: do not reach in!). But, of course, I reach in, and Amy bites me right on the right hand. I manage to separate the two and grab Peaches by the collar and pull her free. She seems calm, so I let her go and she runs betweens my legs and attacks Amy again. I'm holding my bloody paw, I mean hand, and I kick them free this time and grab Peaches by the collar and hold her for about three minutes until Amy can retreat to her corner.

Both dogs seem to be okay, but my bike's front tire is history and I've got to go to the Doctor's office and get a tetanus shot.

Just got back from Doctor Voelker's. Turns out I had a tetanus shot last year (they're good for ten years). I was lucky on the puncture wound, as it missed my knuckle by about a quarter inch and the doc told me if Amy had punctured the knuckle they would have had to go in and clean it out. Whew! Had a $20 co-pay and I'm going to be on anti-biotics for a week or two and a new tube and tire is going to run about $50. So that was a $150 bike ride. Ha.

"Dog gone it, dogs like me!"
—Al Franken