Sunday, December 28, 2014

Fifty Grades of Spray

December 29, 2014
   it's time to talk scatalogical, and by that, I mean bum guns. Adapted from the French, the bum gun is in full use here in Thailand. The bum gun is a spray nozzle that you apply to your nether region after a bowel movement to hose out potential dingleberries and to nip in the bud the dreaded "E-Dub," which is slang for "the eternal wipe." For some reason, probably homophobic related, American males do not like to spray their bottoms with a hose. Perhaps this is why Canadians refer to us as "Hosers." Or, maybe not.

I have had Thai fish eat my feet:

Foot Fish Devour BBB's Dead Skin

   But, somehow spraying my rectum area with a hose seems too much.

"FDA to Americans: just eat a God-damn vegetable!"
—Onion Headline