Sunday, October 30, 2022

Get Ready for the Bozecard Roadside Rack & Grandpa Ha Ha's Road Rules

 October 30, 2022

   Here's the prototype for a new product: The Bozecard Roadside Rack, full of beans and all the Old West characters you and I love, writ large.

A Bozecard Roadside Attraction

   I'm aiming it at the Phippen Art Museum opening next Friday. So look for it in the gift shop.

   From Dust to Dust is a pretty accurate epitaph for my tombstone, since I am so enamored of impressionistic dust in Westerns and Western scenes, like this:

Daily Whip Out Revisited:
"Mexico Reaps The Whirlwind"

   We're planning a big road trip next April with the Bortscheller grandkids. Deena mentioned her kids are the perfect age to travel because they are not yet teenagers. True-true-true-true-so true! So, I thought it was time to lay down grandpa's Road Trip Rules.

The Ten Grandpa Ha Ha Road Trip Rules

Road Rule #1: Take plenty of goofball photos posed especially goofy so that when they grow up they can show these photos to their kids.

Road Rule #2: If possible do not come back on the same road that you left on. It's more fun to see new country.

Road Rule #3: at least once on the trip take an unknown side road and see where it goes.

Road Rule #4: Always stop at hysterical markers, I mean historical markers. We want to find out what happened there and learn something!

Road Rule #5: No chains like McDonald's or Wendy's. We want to support the local business whenever possible and also to try the local dishes.

Road Rule #6: Uno picks the pee stops. I mean it— every single one. If you don't like it, take it up with Unocito!
"No, really, I can hold it another ten miles"

Road Rule #7: When we drive by a ranch or an isolated farm house, imagine what it would be like to live there. Where would you go to school? What would it be like to have Hillbilly parents?

Road Rule #8: Avoid freeways whenever possible and take the back roads. It's more fun.

Road Rule #9: Have at least one picnic. Buy food and take it to a lake, or a scenic vista. The food will taste better there.

Road Rule #10: Save your whining for the whining window. That's where we roll down the window closest to you and you whine and whine with your head out the window. Be sure to save up your whines, because we wouldn't want to miss any!

"Okay, buckle up and let's roll!"
—Grandpa Ha ha

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous12:39 PM

    If your passengers are screaming in fear while you driving, it's time to wake up from you nap.


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