Monday, July 08, 2013

Train Wrecks & Moist Road Apples

July 8, 2013
     As the dust clears from the July 4th weekend we find out The Lone Ranger made a weak $48.9 mil compared with the no. 1 movie Despicable Me 2 @ $142.1 mil. The Lone Ranger is also doing poorly overseas as well and it appears to insiders (The Hollywood Reporter) the Lone Ranger will perhaps make it to $100 mil (it cost north of $250 mil), which, if true, would make it an even bigger bomb than Cowboys & Aliens ($250 mil).

   Meanwhile, several reviews point out some of the faults of the film:

"When the film first brings together Tonto, Silver and the newly deputized Texas Ranger who will become our nominal hero, there’s a sequence with Tonto leading the horse and the unconscious Ranger unceremoniously dragging behind. Then the horse stops to pass excrement — before dragging the future Lone Ranger’s head right through the pile of poop.

There, in a nutshell, is the movie’s attitude toward its source material. I’m reminded of the penguin pooping on Jim Carrey’s face in the also deplorable Mr. Popper’s Penguins. Here is a dismal rule of thumb: When a Hollywood adaptation of a family story involves the hero’s beloved animal pooping on his head, it’s a sign that the filmmakers are not lovers of their material."

Here's a review from NPR that also rings true:

"The director's been saying his Lone Ranger is a sort of Don Quixote as seen through the eyes of a demented Sancho Panza, and as with that tale of a knight tilting at windmills, there's social commentary everywhere you look in this adventure. The script fancies itself a critique of capitalism, a manifesto on manifest destiny, and a saga about silver mines and the slaughter of Native Americans.

All very admirable, if not a great fit for scenes that involve Depp communing with snaggle-toothed cannibal bunny rabbits and taking a runaway train ride or six."

"When I drag your favorite character's head through moist road apples, I am betting you will love it!"
—The Disney Suits Who May Not Have Suits Much Longer