Sunday, July 04, 2021

Meet The Geezers & Sermon On The Rout

 July 4, 2021

    My mother always wanted me to become a minister. Some times I think I would have made a good one.

   Like today.

   But in my sermons, I would lean on slides and optical Whip Outs. Here's a few examples.

Daily Whip Out: "Don't Worry, Be Hopi"

   Yes, my sermons would be fun and humorous. And I would spare no one.

Meet The Geezers

   I have met a whole bunch of geezers in my time. Invariably, they stunned me with the things that came out of their mouths. You know, like this:

Daily Whip Out: "Oldtime Geezer"

"They don't want to work."

Daily Whip Out: "Geezer #2"

"If you ask me, they're too damn lazy."

   And, then, there are the folks caught in the middle.

Daily Flashback Whip Out:

"Mickey Remembers History A Little Differently"


 "Easy for you to say."

—Mickey Free

How I Would Preach About Sin

    Love the sinner, hate the sin.

Daily Whip Out: "The Sinner"

   And, when push comes to shove, listen to the mothers. That is where forgiveness lies.

Daily Whip Out: "Opodepe Mamacita"

"What the hell do you know, Cabrone?"

"Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense."
—Robert Frost

Daily Whip Out: "Everyone Is Guilty"

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me."
—Emo Philips

Daily Whip Out:
"Angst Down Thru The Ages"

   Maybe it was just as well I didn't become a minister. Or, maybe I did. A minister of Zane.

"Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end."

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